6 Ways To Keep Your Marriage Hot When You Have Little Kids

By

6 Ways To Keep Your Marriage Hot When You Have Little Kids
Keep the spark alive — even when you're covered in peanut butter and apple juice.

Today's young families have pressures that families of long ago may not have had. Parents both work with the pressure of taking kids to school, lack of sleep, alternating who takes off sick time when their child gets sick and trying to excel in their own careers. Stress over time begins deteriorating marriage happiness, which is a leading cause of divorce in young families. Although divorce may look easier when you feel disconnected with your spouse, it is not easier in the long term. Research from sociologists at the University of Chicago suggests that working it out and staying in your marriage has a better chance of ending happily than leaving your marriage does. According to the study, two-thirds of those who stay in an unhappy marriage reported being happy in their marriage five years later, and numerous studies have shown that as children become more independent, marital satisfaction increases.  Having small children does not have to signify the end of intimacy in marriage. It can, however, present a challenge to sharing intimacy the way you used to, and therefore making your partner and your marriage a priority can help you survive the stressful challenges small children present.

Below are 6 suggestions that can help both husbands and wives feel connected and loved:

 

  1. Create Alone Time: Valuing your marriage means taking breaks as a couple from the kids. Date nights, staying in to sleep, or a late dinner when the kids are in bed are wonderful options.
  2. Keep Talking: No matter how tired you are, communication is one of the most important parts of a healthy marriage. Conflicts intensify when new parents are feeling like they don't talk anymore.
  3. As Much As Possible, Share Intimacy: It's good for kids to see their parents hug, and it is important to not ever let go of your intimate connection. Sex is good for your marriage and important for your health. 
  4. Start Traditions: Develop new family rituals that are yours and yours alone.
  5. Split The Work: Share chores as much as possible, and show appreciation for your partner during challenging times when they take on more.
  6. Keep Expectations Reasonable: You don't need the best of everything — you need what is good enough for you and your partner. Marital unhappiness comes from expecting to have what others have instead of being grateful for what you have.

Having small children is a temporary condition. My best advice is to keep your marriage flexible, help out when you see a need no matter whose job it is, and embrace the chaos and wonder small children bring to your life. As with all things, this too shall pass.

More from Mary Jo Rapini:

  • http://www.myfoxhouston.com/story/26250926/six-ways-to-help-your-marriage-survive-young-children
  • For more information or your FREE MONTHLY RELATIONSHIP TIPS: www.maryjorapini.com
  • Talk to me on my fan page: http://www.facebook.com/maryjorapini
  • You Tube: https://www.youtube.com/user/mjrapini
  • Tweet me: @maryjorapini
  • Pinterest: http://www.pinterest.com/maryjorapini/marriage-and-relationships/
  • Mind, Body, Soul with Mary Jo happens every Monday and Thursday morning 9 A.M. CST on Fox 26 Morning News.

More marriage advice on YourTango:

Article contributed by

Mary Jo Rapini

Counselor/Therapist

For more information go to: www.maryjorapini.com
Talk to me on my fan page: http://www.facebook.com/maryjorapini
Tweet me: @MaryJoRapini
Read my Love and Relationships Blog on Chron.com
Ask me questions on Fox26 in Houston, TX and watch every Thursday Morning at 9am for “Mind, Body, Soul with Mary Jo” and Friday Morning's at 8am for “Healthy Happy Hour with Mary Jo”

Location: Houston, TX
Credentials: LPC
Other Articles/News by Mary Jo Rapini:

5 Signs You Are Unhappy With Your Life (And 5 Ways To Fix It)

By

Everyone has times when they contemplate, "Is this all there is?" You have he job, the kids, the new house, and you're still feeling as though something is missing. That feeling of being lost or misguided in your life can happen for a variety of reasons, but sometimes realizing that you’re lost is the toughest part. If you find yourself ... Read more

Make It Spicy! 7 Steamy Ways To Boost Intimacy—With FOOD

By

Food plays a major role in intimate relationships. I'm not talking about quick, easy, in-and-out types of meals. I'm talking about lovingly and thoughtfully prepared food. There's a big difference—and taking part in the "good stuff" helps you get more of the good stuff in your relationships (openness, trust and comfort), ... Read more

Even A Healthy Marriage Has Its Hard Times

By

I read an article recently about a couple that shared their marriage story. In the story the author (the husband) told the reader how his wife came to him one day and asked to talk with him. She talked about their two lovely girls, their fun social life and then she threw him a "verbal bomb" he didn't expect. She said her life at home was ... Read more

See More

 
Latest Expert Videos
ASK YOURTANGO MORE QUESTIONS
Most Popular