Cheating On You With Your Money

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Cheating On You With Your Money
Did you just find out your partner has been not reporting the finances accurately with you? Cheating


We have all gone through a lengthy recession. Business is beginning to pick up, more people are working, but we aren't out of the woods yet. Couples continue struggling with financial stressors-higher food costs, higher gas prices, and dual incomes becoming single household incomes with unemployment. Forbes Woman and the National Endowment for Financial Education (NEFE) surveyed 2,019 adults from December 17th through December 21st of 2010 and found big money crimes among marriages. The leading money crimes were hiding cash, as well as minor purchases and bills. A significant number of people admitted to hiding major purchases and keeping a secret bank account. There was also lying about debt and earnings.

One in three Americans (31%) said they had been deceived (cheated on) by their partner in regards to money. Also consider those that cheat with a lover. There are numerous ways to cheat involving internet chatting, texting, emotional affairs, and physical affairs, and the statistics I have seen reported in most of my marital journals is 41%. That's a lot of cheating going on with love and money. Would you rather be cheated on with love or money? Both are bad; most of us would choose neither, but when it happens to you, you aren't given a choice. If you are cheated on with love, it is easier to get out of the marriage or leave your partner than if they cheated on you with money. With money you may be far in debt by the time you are aware that something is going on, and you own half of the debt if you are married to your partner.

It is easier to catch a lying spouse who has a lover than it is to catch one who has a secret bank account where they are stashing your money. What are warning signs that your spouse is lying about money to you?

According to Ted Massaro of M Financial Planning Service, there are three main ways you will know if your spouse is cheating with their wallet:

1. When your partner is doing something they don't want you to see, they hide it and freak out if it looks like you may catch them. If you have always opened or picked up your partner's mail in the past and all of a sudden they are scrambling to prevent that from happening, be suspicious.

2. If, all of a sudden, your partner doesn't show you their pay stub, be suspicious. They may have taken a pay cut or gotten a pay raise without telling you. If they are getting paid more, they can save the extra in an account you don't know about. If they have taken a cut you may be spending the same, not knowing your partner is not making the same amount of money. The debt could be adding up all without you knowing.

Next: What to do if you suspect financial cheating...

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Article contributed by

Mary Jo Rapini

Counselor/Therapist

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