Are You In A Relationship With A Bully?

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Are You In A Relationship With A Bully?
We hear about kids being bullies, but what happens when a child bully grows up to be a "big bully?"

 

Bully behavior begins in childhood. Kids watch their parents and siblings and learn those behaviors. If they learn bullying behaviors they will mimic them. Some of them learn the error of their ways and change. They may ask forgiveness or become compassionate to those they hurt or offended. Some of them don’t learn, and they keep growing into adult bullies. These adult bullies have relationships and marry unsuspecting people. They can wear a mask and act normal, but when they are stressed or dissatisfied they show their bully mindset.

Are you married to a bully? They usually are screamers, yellers, attackers, lovers of chaos, and unpredictable. Women can be bullies as well as men. Below are a few ways you can identify if your spouse is a bully.

  • Unpredictable with what sets them off. The same behavior you did yesterday with no response may set off an explosion today. It is frequently like this in your home. You never know what will make them overreact.
  • They accuse you of falsifying information. The only way to prove this is to tape record it, although if it’s gotten out of hand seek guidance from a professional.
  • They make fun of you or tease you with critical remarks. If you tell them this hurts your feelings they respond by saying they were just kidding, and ask what is wrong with you. They chide you for not being able to take a joke.
  • They isolate or reject you if you don’t do or say exactly what they wanted. It is their way showing you who has the most power in the relationship.
  • They make threats saying if you don’t “come to your senses” or give in to their way they will leave you, divorce you, take your money, or take the kids; there are few limits here. They are bullies, and they do what they have to in order to get their way.
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Mary Jo Rapini

Counselor/Therapist

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