With the start of 2012, it’s time for New Year’s resolutions and new beginnings. It might also be the perfect time to set some goals for your love life and learn how to identify the kind of man you want to date. I like to call him Mr. Boyfriend Material. Like you, Mr. Boyfriend Material dates with dignity and is interested in finding a partner who is confident, independent, and has the skills necessary to communicate in MANglish. 10 Tips For Finding Love In the New Year
The ability to understand and respect MANglish is paramount to finding a relationship with Mr. Boyfriend Material because he won’t put up with your crap. He won’t let you “sulk” or manipulate him with your tears. He expects you to communicate your needs, have boundaries, express your expectations directly, and allow him to engage in activities that fulfill the essence of who he is. In addition, he knows that you won’t take everything he says as a personal rejection, acceptance, or declaration of his love for you.
There are few key signs to look for to know if the guy you are dating is Mr. Boyfriend Material:
1. He is truly in a place where he feels confident and secure in his ability to provide. Men are typically most confident, secure, and ready to be in an exclusive long-term relationship when they feel “settled.” They have spent time building their career and have the time available to invest in a relationship. They are financially secure. Remember, men who are not in this place in life are still worth dating; they are just not likely to be good candidates for a long-term partnership. If you are dating someone who is still climbing the ladder to emotional maturity and financial security, you will likely need to be extremely patient as he moves through these phases of manhood.
2. His words match his actions. A man who is capable of a long-term relationship has integrity, and as a result his words and actions match. He will call when he says he will call. He will ask you out a few days in advance. He will follow through on the promises he makes. This is one of the most crucial signs a man is ready to be your boyfriend. If his words and actions match consistently, it is clear he is ready to play in the big leagues—possibly with you.
3. He doesn’t play games. He doesn’t apply the “Three-Day Rule” to the women he dates, wait twenty-four hours before returning your phone call, or “vanish” to draw you into his world. When he is interested in pursuing you, he will let you know in an appropriate way. Conversely, if you play games with Mr. Boyfriend Material, he will politely decline the opportunity to get to know you, and dismiss you as possibly immature, or worse, “psycho.” Don’t over-text Mr. Boyfriend Material with idle chit chat messages. Be gracious, kind, and authentic, because Mr. Boyfriend Material is attracted to a confident woman who, like him, is past playing games.
4. He knows how to express his feelings directly. Mr. Boyfriend Material will not manipulate you with silence or criticize or judge you. When he has a need, or feels like he must discuss something pertaining to the relationship, he does not hesitate to bring it up. He will also be honest in telling you when he needs to spend time with his friends, needs to work, or wants to go to the gym. He will expect you to respect his needs and not see his independence as rejection.
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