Would You Choose Your Heels Over A Man?

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How To Get A Boyfriend & Find Love: Get Over The Height Issue
Are women that only date tall men missing out on someone amazing?

People are always intrigued with my occupation. At parties, I usually have the most unique job in the room. The converation usually goes something like this:

"Wow, you're a matchmaker? How cool!"
"Yep, I'm a real-life Cupid!"
"That is awesome. So, how do you do it? I mean, do you just get a feeling about your clients... you know, using your intuition?"

Ha! If only it were that simple. I suppose I could go into the feng shui corner of my office where my altar is stacked with crystals, angel cards, incense, and statuettes of saints. I could meditate and go into a trance and ask my spirit guides who to match with whom; sounds pretty magical right? But it more often goes like this:

"Hi Angela, I have an amazing guy to introduce to you. His name is Brad; he is a successful doctor, good looking, sophisticated, active, and fit. He has never been married, and is seeking his soul mate. He is 42, 5'8", dark hair and eyes, and has no baggage. Let me know if you want to meet him and I can tell you more."
"Hi Marla, thanks for thinking of me, but I'm only attracted to guys six feet tall and up. I practically live in my heels."
"I understand that you like to wear heels, but you are only 5'3". Brad is five inches taller than you. What is more important, your heels or finding an amazing man to spend your life with?"
"Haha, I know; isn't it crazy? Sorry, I am just not attracted to short guys." 

I rummage around for my wand to zap some sense into her. I just hope that her Jimmy Choos can keep her warm at night.

I know a woman that refused to date a man under 6'3". She had hopes and dreams of marriage and family. Between the ages of 27 and 41, she remained alone, searching for her unicorn in a haystack. She finally accepted a date with a man that was her height, 5'9", because her best friend threatened bodily harm if she didn't give the guy a chance. He turned out to be a gem. They have been dating for a year now and are very happy. Although it looks like she did miss the train to have a family, wasting thirteen years because she wouldn't bend her "rule."

In an article in Esquire Magazine, Ann Freidman says, "single people sign up for a half-dozen dating sites and apps in order to widen their pool, yet most won't break the height taboo. It needs to change. Men should date women who are taller than they are, and women should date shorter men."

I totally agree. The average height of the American male is 5'9". If you are one of those ladies that insist on dating only taller men, you might have to settle for a relationship with Jimmy too — Jimmy Choo, that is!

Our society has accustomed us to believe in the fairy tale: the tall, handsome prince rides up on his white horse and takes us away to his castle. We believe the myth that if there isn't wild romance and crazy chemistry from first sight, he can't be "the one". We mistakenly think that sexual chemistry equals love, when in fact it equals lust. Chemistry is the most powerful drug in the universe. Nature set it up that way so that our species would continue on. That "Oh baby, I just gotta have you or I'm sure I'll die" feeling? Well, that keeps the human race from going extinct.

What we should ultimately seek is a true partner, from the soul level. The problem often arises because romantic love ultimately falls short of that ideal. In romantic love, our feelings are dependent upon what we receive in return. We must remember that what we are seeking is unconditional love—and more often than not, we not only don't get it, but also don't give it either. A soulmate can challenge us to a higher standard, it can teach us patience, and lead us to unconditional love.

Over the years, I have interviewed thousands of women about what qualities in a man are the most appealing. Right up there at the top of the list is a sense of humor. Women love men that can make them laugh. One of the sexiest men ever was Dudley Moore. Despite his diminutive stature, of 5'2 ½", "Cuddly Dudley" was known to be quite the ladies' man! Moore married Suzy Kendall in 1958, Tuesday Weld in 1975, Brogan Lane in 1988, and Nicole Rothschild in 1994.

I don't know. Call me crazy, but I would rather seek out the sparkly, joyful, bright side of life in a partner than give a second thought to where they come up to on the measuring stick. 

Of course, we all want a romantic attraction to sustain a healthy love relationship, but a few inches either way will not guarantee the perfect mate. So give the vertically-challenged a chance, and you just might be pleasantly surprised!

More how to get a boyfriend advice from YourTango:

Article contributed by

Marla Martenson

Matchmaker

Marla Martenson, matchmaker & author of Diary of a Beverly Hills Matchmaker

Location: Los Angeles, CA
Credentials: Other
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