A single surgeon thinks he's on the fast track to love, but he's going about it all wrong.
I got an email from a friend yesterday with a link to an article that is going around and causing quite a stir. Apparently, a single surgeon went to a networking event, got everyone's business cards and then sent out a mass email requesting assistance in finding him the perfect wife. He claims that he is the number one surgeon of his type in the Northeastern United States, and is actually so successful that he doesn't need any additional income; therefore he attends networking events for personal reasons, not business.
The part of this story that is causing a stir is this gentleman's must have "list" of qualities his future bride must possess to even be considered a candidate.
Here is his list, in case any of you ladies fit the bill and are seeking a shallow, superficial man to settle down with:
- Age 27-35 (ideally 28-34)
- No kids, wants kids in the next 1-2 years
- College graduate, doesn't have to be a great school, but needs to have finished the degree
- Skinny (i.e. dress size 0-2, if you don’t know what that means (many men don't) it means very skinny)
- Caucasian (not black, not Hispanic, not Asian)
- Healthy lifestyle (defined as no smoking, no drugs, good diet, no hard drinking)
These are things that I would ideally prefer, but don't require (i.e. I am flexible about these criteria)
- Christian (any denomination is fine, I'm Catholic but not very religious, prefer any religion over none, must be religiously tolerant, will not be compatible with someone who thinks everyone else is damned)
- Graduate degree or very good undergraduate school (more compatible since I went to 3 Ivy League schools i.e. Dartmouth, Columbia & Harvard, as well as Emory and my MBA from NYU)
- Spent significant time in another country other than the US (either born somewhere else or lived out of the US for a total of a 6 months or more, not on a vacation, doing something like school or work)
- Spent significant time (1 yr) living in a city of 1 million or more (so can live in NYC if moves here)
- Likes animals and pets, particularly dogs (because I plan to have a dog for the rest of my life)
These are the Soft (Objective) Criteria I require, but are difficult to match (because they're qualitative)
- Attractive (like an 8 out of the 1-10 scale, 9-10 is actually bad as it comes with a lot of downside)
- Nice, normal, sweet, kind, altruistic, selfless, not entitled, bitchy, materialistic, selfish, self-centered
- Stylish, fashionable, polished, confident but not vain, superficial, overly concerned about looks
- Hard-working, real career, full-time job (unless in graduate school), achievement-oriented
- Highly functional Type B (not a Type A because too similar, not a Type B who can't get stuff done)
- Easy-going, sense of humor, doesn't take life or things too seriously, gets along well with everyone
- Good person, follows the Golden Rule, nice and kind to others, never does bad things because of values
- Good family, good role models, ideally good nuclear family so can emulate good patterns of behavior
This Romeo is also offering "gifts" to anyone that sets him up with appropriate matches. See his incentives below:
- First date set up: $100 cash
- Second date (with either same person, indicating a better match, or a 2nd person): +$200 or free latisse worth $300
- 3rd date (again can be w same person): + $300 or free botox worth $500
- 4th date (w same or diff person): + $400 or free Juvederm injections worth $900
- 5th date (same conditions): + 500 cash or 1 eye free LASEK worth $2000:)
Boy, that free one eye surgery sounds awesome. Maybe I can sport a patch over the other eye like a pirate.
It seems so shocking that someone could be so out of touch with reality, and honestly believe that he can mix and match qualities like Dr. Frankenstein in his laborotory to magically create the perfect woman. However, as a matchmaker, I will say that this is not unusual. I have received inquiries by men with similar lists. Interestingly enough, those men were Ivy League educated and overachievers.
But I will say that 99 percent of the men that join my service are extremely selective, often having stringent requirements such as hair or eye color, extremely narrow height requirements (sometimes within two to three inches), and of course they all want stick-thin. I often joke that I am going to start trolling the morgue for some choice corpses to match them up with.
This man is searching for a unicorn. I wish him all the luck in the world in joining us back on earth and in reality someday. Until then, his email will be passed around the Internet for entertainment; his own "reality show" of sorts. And, as a bonus, it can also serve to remind us not to be overly picky in drafting our own "must-haves."
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