Is He Serious Or Does He Just Want Arm Candy?


trophy wife

One of the questions that I am frequently asked from women is, "Are these men really serious about finding someone or do they just want an arm piece?" I am convinced that everyone is looking for their true love. It may not always seem like it when you go on date after date and nothing seems to come of it. So naturally some women wonder if guys are serious or just looking for a good time.

Since men are visual it only makes sense that when plunking down thousands of dollars for a matchmaking service that they would chose the one that offers good looking slender women. It’s the same thing as if a woman had the choice of meeting successful men or men who are broke. But I still meet women who have a hard time accepting the fact that looks are the first thing a man is interested in. A man is just not going to approach a woman that he does not find attractive and say “Hi, my name is Jim, you look like you have a beautiful soul and a brilliant mind, would you like to have dinner sometime?”


Men are visual creatures, they are hardwired that way and there is nothing that we can do about it. To actually become aroused and his “apparatus” work he needs to like what he sees, become excited visually. Most men will not become excited looking at flab and cellulite. Why do you think that we see all of the celebrities with the hottest women in Hollywood and not some nice, plump plain Jane? Exactly! It’s the reason that advertising agencies hire gorgeous models to sell everything from cosmetics, shampoo, cars, clothing, perfume and even hamburgers to name a few. Now, all of us are not blessed with the gene pool of say Cameron Diaz, Heidi Klum or Eva Longoria, but we can still get our behinds to the gym or around the block a few times per day and cut out the junk food. Staying slim and trim is probably the most important thing that you can do to help insure that you will attract a man and then keep him interested once you do.

The way we physically look affects our ability to attract and keep a partner. A man can tell if he is physically interested in a woman in the first three minutes of meeting her. For men, attraction occurs on a biological level. He wants to know that his can successfully pass on his genes, which is why men generally are attracted to younger women. For women, the man that is attractive to her is the one who can provide food, shelter and take care of the family, which is why women are often attracted to older men.

Staying slim and trim is also one of the most important things that you can do for your health. Did you know that high blood pressure is twice as common in overweight people? Or that your risk of arthritis increases 9-13% for every 2 pounds of weight you gain, or that gaining as little as 11-18 pounds doubles your chance of developing type 2 diabetes, or that women who gain more than 20 pounds between the age of 18 and midlife double the risk of developing breast cancer after menopause? So the benefits of staying in shape cover all aspects of a woman’s life. Of course you don’t want to obsess about it either or beat yourself up. I’m sure you all know one of those women who are about the size of a twig but still think that they’re fat. Or one who just turned twenty-nine and whines, “I’m so old!” Puh-leeeze! Looking and feeling healthy, fit, strong and sexy is the goal to aspire to.

Article contributed by

Marla Martenson


Marla Martenson, matchmaker & author of Diary of a Beverly Hills Matchmaker

Location: Los Angeles, CA
Credentials: Other
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