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Are You Wracked With Guilt Over An Affair?

By . Posted on .

guilt forehead woman
It's written all over your face.
Five steps toward self-forgiveness and moving on from someone who has been there herself.

"I feel so guilty I had the affair," she said. "I don't even know why I did it. What was I thinking?"

This is a very typical response from women who are living with the guilt of having had an affair. If you are a woman who has cheated on her husband or boyfriend and you are now dealing with the destructive aftermath and feeling extremely guilty, I empathize. I, like you, have been where you are and it's a difficult place to escape ... if you don't know how.

More from YourTango: 5 Ways to Trust Again After Infidelity

Having worked with many women who have had affairs, and having been there myself, the reasons for cheating vary — feeling dead inside, boredom, a feeling of neglect and communication breakdown are among the most popular. Regardless of the reason for the infidelity, the feelings of guilt eat women up inside, affecting their health, their mental well-being and their children. As a result of their guilt, women bow down to all of their partner's requests to make things right with him. This, of course, is not a healthy solution for anyone.

So, what can you do to get over your guilt and move on with your life? Below are the steps I took to get over my affair guilt:

More from YourTango: What You Shouldn't Do If You're Caught Cheating

1. Forgive yourself. Beating yourself up will be the death of you. It will literally suck all the living force out of you. I remember running into a church to beg God for forgiveness. I could not forgive myself for what I had done to my ex and those around me. Every day I had to live with the consequences of my own actions. Keep reading ...

More on infidelity from YourTango:

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Marina Pearson

Divorce Recovery Coach

Marina Pearson

DivorceShift - Express, Release & Move On

Want to get over an ex? Does your ex still push those buttons?Join me on The Free Goodbye Mr Ex Webinar  that will take you from powerless to powerful and set you free.

Location: Ware, HRT, United Kingdom
Credentials: MA
Other Articles/News by Marina Pearson:

5 Ways to Trust Again After Infidelity

By

Learning to trust someone after you have experienced the harrowing experience of an affair can be really difficult. However it is not impossible. I remember, when one of my exes left me for another women, that it threw me into the depths of despair. The situation had me questioning myself over and over, and it stripped away my self-esteem, leaving me feeling ... Read more

What You Shouldn't Do If You're Caught Cheating

By

"How could you have done this to me?" I stood there speechless, not knowing what to say, dumfounded that my ex-husband had finally found out that I was having an affair. In that moment, I was so sorry for what I had done and how our relationship was going to end. And I made matters worse by not taking responsibility for my own actions. So if ... Read more

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Having been divorced myself and gone through countless number of relationships that have not worked, I definitely know what mistakes to avoid to make the relationship work. Below are just some of the mistakes I've made, that my clients have made and that you should avoid. 1. You ignore issues as a couple. This is probably the worst thing you ... Read more

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