Five steps toward self-forgiveness and moving on from someone who has been there herself.
"I feel so guilty I had the affair," she said. "I don't even know why I did it. What was I thinking?"
This is a very typical response from women who are living with the guilt of having had an affair. If you are a woman who has cheated on her husband or boyfriend and you are now dealing with the destructive aftermath and feeling extremely guilty, I empathize. I, like you, have been where you are and it's a difficult place to escape ... if you don't know how.
Having worked with many women who have had affairs, and having been there myself, the reasons for cheating vary — feeling dead inside, boredom, a feeling of neglect and communication breakdown are among the most popular. Regardless of the reason for the infidelity, the feelings of guilt eat women up inside, affecting their health, their mental well-being and their children. As a result of their guilt, women bow down to all of their partner's requests to make things right with him. This, of course, is not a healthy solution for anyone.
So, what can you do to get over your guilt and move on with your life? Below are the steps I took to get over my affair guilt:
1. Forgive yourself. Beating yourself up will be the death of you. It will literally suck all the living force out of you. I remember running into a church to beg God for forgiveness. I could not forgive myself for what I had done to my ex and those around me. Every day I had to live with the consequences of my own actions. Keep reading ...
More on infidelity from YourTango:
- How To Recover From Infidelity
- Whaaaat? Sometimes Cheating Can Actually HELP Your Marriage
- So, He Cheated. Can You Really Trust Him Again?