For a Great Marriage Stop Needing To Be Right!

By

For a Great Marriage Stop Needing To Be Right!
Find out why being right is the worst thing for your marriage.

Wanting to be right in your marriage is a sure way to break it down, and is one of the most detrimental patterns to any relationship. Below are 5 reasons why being right is a big no-no, and why it's okay to be wrong!

Win-Lose Mentality Versus Win-Win

 

Being in a relationship with someone is about win-win, otherwise why are you in a relationship with them? Are they not supposed to be on your team? If not, why not? When being right becomes more important than supporting one another and being open to what the other person has to say, it creates a wall.

Closing Down Communication

When the wall is up, both parties take up a defensive stance. Just like prodding a porcupine, the porcupine curls up. This is what happens when two people want to be right. When each of them curls up, how is healthy communication supposed to happen? In short — it doesn't.

Fueling Disconnection

If two people are shut off from one another, then this inevitably will fuel the feeling of disconnection. Connection is all about listening, and focusing on what each person is saying. If both parties are just wanting to get their point across, and their priority is to convince the other, then being open to truly connect will at best be difficult, and at worst not happen at all.

Gratitude Break Down

Once you've created the wall, and your perception of the other becomes marred, being appreciative of who they are becomes really challenging. Based on research, if there are 4 behaviors that bring appreciation and joy to one negative behavior, then the relationship has the resilience to withstand difficult times. If it tips the scale, then it will be more challenging. The main energetic component will be one of negativity and hatred.

Isolation Versus Togetherness

Once the relationship is on this path, restoring it will be very challenging, but not impossible if both parties are willing to do the work. Otherwise, what I've seen is that each person becomes more distant and isolated, and the end result most likely is an affair, heartbreak, or divorce.

To get more advice on how to create loving relationships, go to Marina Pearson's blog.

More on Marriage from YourTango:

Article contributed by

Marina Pearson

Relationship Coach

Marina Pearson

Goodbye Mr Ex - Express Release and Move On

Want to get over an ex? Does your ex still push those buttons?

Then lets have a chat

That will take you from powerless to powerful and set you free.

Location: Ware, HRT, United Kingdom
Credentials: MA
Other Articles/News by Marina Pearson:

I Cheated On My Husband And Broke His Heart

By

"How could you have done this to me, to us? Who are you and who did I marry?" With tears in his eyes, my ex-husband shouted and screamed these questions at me on the day he found out that I'd had an affair. All the while, I stood there shaking, in shock, not knowing what to say that would make what I had done right. I was a cheater. Looking ... Read more

Hey, Stress Junkie: Stop Giving Your Body The Silent Treatment

By

Over the last 9 months, pregnancy has taught me so much about the importance of slowing down, looking after myself, being present in the moment, and most of all, trusting the perfection and wisdom that surrounds us. If you are reading this, you probably feel overwhelmed and are dealing with anxiety, pushing too hard to make things happen. In short, ... Read more

So, Trying To Chill Out Actually Makes You More Stressed

By

Are you tired and fed up of being told that you need to de-stress your life? Are you confused over what you "should" do (versus what you "want" to do) because there are so many methods and "musts" about how de-stressing should be handled?   Try meditation. Now do yoga. Make time for that time management courses. And ... Read more

See More

 
Latest Expert Videos
ASK YOURTANGO MORE QUESTIONS
Must-see Videos
SEE MORE VIDEOS
Most Popular