Wanting to be right in your marriage is a sure way to break it down, and is one of the most detrimental patterns to any relationship. Below are 5 reasons why being right is a big no-no, and why it's okay to be wrong!
Win-Lose Mentality Versus Win-Win
Being in a relationship with someone is about win-win, otherwise why are you in a relationship with them? Are they not supposed to be on your team? If not, why not? When being right becomes more important than supporting one another and being open to what the other person has to say, it creates a wall.
Closing Down Communication
When the wall is up, both parties take up a defensive stance. Just like prodding a porcupine, the porcupine curls up. This is what happens when two people want to be right. When each of them curls up, how is healthy communication supposed to happen? In short — it doesn't.
If two people are shut off from one another, then this inevitably will fuel the feeling of disconnection. Connection is all about listening, and focusing on what each person is saying. If both parties are just wanting to get their point across, and their priority is to convince the other, then being open to truly connect will at best be difficult, and at worst not happen at all.
Gratitude Break Down
Once you've created the wall, and your perception of the other becomes marred, being appreciative of who they are becomes really challenging. Based on research, if there are 4 behaviors that bring appreciation and joy to one negative behavior, then the relationship has the resilience to withstand difficult times. If it tips the scale, then it will be more challenging. The main energetic component will be one of negativity and hatred.
Isolation Versus Togetherness
Once the relationship is on this path, restoring it will be very challenging, but not impossible if both parties are willing to do the work. Otherwise, what I've seen is that each person becomes more distant and isolated, and the end result most likely is an affair, heartbreak, or divorce.
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