For a Great Marriage Stop Needing To Be Right!


For a Great Marriage Stop Needing To Be Right!
Find out why being right is the worst thing for your marriage.

Wanting to be right in your marriage is a sure way to break it down, and is one of the most detrimental patterns to any relationship. Below are 5 reasons why being right is a big no-no, and why it's okay to be wrong!

Win-Lose Mentality Versus Win-Win

Being in a relationship with someone is about win-win, otherwise why are you in a relationship with them? Are they not supposed to be on your team? If not, why not? When being right becomes more important than supporting one another and being open to what the other person has to say, it creates a wall.

Closing Down Communication

When the wall is up, both parties take up a defensive stance. Just like prodding a porcupine, the porcupine curls up. This is what happens when two people want to be right. When each of them curls up, how is healthy communication supposed to happen? In short — it doesn't.

Fueling Disconnection

If two people are shut off from one another, then this inevitably will fuel the feeling of disconnection. Connection is all about listening, and focusing on what each person is saying. If both parties are just wanting to get their point across, and their priority is to convince the other, then being open to truly connect will at best be difficult, and at worst not happen at all.

Gratitude Break Down

Once you've created the wall, and your perception of the other becomes marred, being appreciative of who they are becomes really challenging. Based on research, if there are 4 behaviors that bring appreciation and joy to one negative behavior, then the relationship has the resilience to withstand difficult times. If it tips the scale, then it will be more challenging. The main energetic component will be one of negativity and hatred.

Isolation Versus Togetherness

Once the relationship is on this path, restoring it will be very challenging, but not impossible if both parties are willing to do the work. Otherwise, what I've seen is that each person becomes more distant and isolated, and the end result most likely is an affair, heartbreak, or divorce.

To get more advice on how to create loving relationships, go to Marina Pearson's blog.

More on Marriage from YourTango:

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Marina Pearson

Relationship Coach

Marina Pearson

Goodbye Mr Ex - Express Release and Move On

Want to get over an ex? Does your ex still push those buttons?

Then lets have a chat

That will take you from powerless to powerful and set you free.

Location: Ware, HRT, United Kingdom
Credentials: MA
Other Articles/News by Marina Pearson:

Just Do It: How To Stop Being Afraid Of Breaking Up


Are you one of the many people ready to leave a relationship but either afraid of what the future will hold for you if you do leave, or guily over leaving your partner? What would it be like if you could leave without the guilt and fear? How do you think you would feel? Having worked with clients who found themselves in this predicament, I can tell you that ... Read more

Should I Stay Or Should I Go? 5 Ways To Decide To Breakup


In my coaching practice, I often come across women who are really confused and stuck as to whether they should stay or go in a relationship. Instead of making a decision, they waiver from wanting to leave,  succumbing to their fear of what would happen if they did leave and finally wanting to avoid the guilt of making the first move. I have been there ... Read more

Single On Valentine's Day And Loathing It? 5 Ways To Get Happy


Valentine's day is looming. And for some it's a day full of candles and romanitc cards but for others it can exacerbate the feeling of loneliness and insecurity. This article is for you if you find yourself alone on that day and wishing you weren't, with some reminders for you that there is light at the end of the tunnel. In fact, the light is ... Read more

See More


Sign up for our daily email and get the stories everyone is talking about.

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.