Is jealousy keeping you from enjoying the holidays? Here's the 1 reason to steer clear of it.
Holiday season is upon us once more. As a dating coach, I have a lot to look forward to—holiday party invites, giving and receiving gifts, and talking many ladies off the ledge of their own making.
Yes ladies (and you know who you are), it is time to face the truth: you will be invited to many parties and there will be many women there that are young and beautiful. Your man may even sneak a peak at one or two of them.
So what? There should be no reason to have trust issues with your man. Unless he is being blatantly disrespectful and hitting on everything in a skirt (which is a whole other article), so what? Jealousy is not only a green-eyed monster, but also the quickest route to breaksville. William Penn once said that "the jealous are troublesome to others, but a torment to themselves." He was absolutely correct.
I will, however take it a step further. Not only are they a torment to themselves, but to the others as well.
Take this scenario as an example. One of my clients, who has been in a relationship for over two years, decided that when her boyfriend sees women younger or better looking than she, he will try to do whatever possible to obtain a date.
It just so happens that her fear is not without a basis, as that was exactly what happened about six months into their relationship. Eventually, as my client found out about her boyfriend's little escapade (albeit accompanied by his assurances that these extracurricular activities were strictly platonic), their relationship found a happy plateau as the guilty bastard realized that his girlfriend means more to him than all the miscellaneous goddesses of New York City put together.
But this, unfortunately, is where that happy plateau came to an abrupt drop. Their social lives gradually became less and less active as they attended less and less events and venues where she suspected young beautiful women may be abundant. Needless to say, his patience is wearing thin, as the young pretties are the furthest from his mind right now.
He just wants to get out of the house. This issue is causing a lot of friction in the relationship and a lot of pain to the couple. And unfortunately, there is no easy fix. This couple has a lot of issues to work out.
Nevertheless, there is one thing I can tell you with a degree of certainty: you cannot shelter your partner to save the relationship. It is also not the best idea to shelter yourself from the rest of the world. Sooner or later you have to attend a family event or a company function where, yes, there will be people.
Yes, there will be beautiful people. So what? Do you distrust your partner that much? If that is the case, please ask yourself why you are with him. He may run into a pretty girl on his way to work, and then what? Not everyone has the luxury to work from home.
Remember that old quote by Richard Bach that has since become a cliché: "If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, they're yours. If they don't, they never were." Well, it's true. Try it. You may be shocked to find out how much richer and happier your life will become.
And yes, you will be attending more social events, as you won't be afraid to let your partner make his way to the bar on his own. Who knows? I just might run into you there having fun And if not, let me wish you a happy and love-filled holiday season without any more worries!