It's time hit the stop button and find out who he really wants in life.
By Lena Hardy — Written on Jan 13, 2012
You’ve found out your husband is having an affair. You’re shocked, angry and sad that betrayed you. You don’t want to leave him but you can’t stay with him while he’s with someone else. All you want is for him to stop having the affair so you can figure out if there’s any hope for the marriage.
Men cheat because of an internal conflict. They hardly ever have an affair because they want to end the marriage. When you find out about the affair, he may rationalize his infidelity by saying that he couldn’t deal with you or the marriage any longer. It’s too devastating to admit that he decided to have a relationship with someone else for any other reason than that. Thus, he must make up an excuse that places blame on someone or something else other than himself.
Some women will cling to the rationalization that the problems in the relationship caused their husband to cheat. They will convince themselves that if they changed, made their husband happier, he will stop the affair.
What this does is reinforce his reasoning for his actions and confirms that what he has done is accepted. When in reality, there is never any acceptable reason for adultery – even if the reason truly was lost love.
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