For starters, whether your minor children will be with you depends on your parenting agreement. If you're in the process of getting divorced, stop reading this right now, pull out your draft parenting agreement and see what it says about holidays. If celebrating Mother's Day with your kids is important to you, write a short email to your soon-to-be ex-husband or your attorney and ask for these days to be included.
1. Negotiate your time to include Mother's Day. If you're divorced and your children aren't scheduled to be with you because Mother's Day has been overlooked in your agreement, try negotiating with your ex—there's Father's Day to offer as an even exchange. If he agrees, then unless you want to be negotiating this every year, it's best to get your agreement amended. You can check with your local court on how to do this and it's something you and your ex should be able to do yourselves with minimal fees.
2. Otherwise, celebrate on a different day. If your ex isn't agreeable to an exchange of parenting time or it's not possible because of other commitments, don't give up on celebrating the day. Look for a day when your children will be with you and you can deem to be Mother's Day. Don't worry that it isn't the actual Mother's Day. Chances are, it won't be the only occasion you'll have to celebrate on an alternate date—it's bound to happen on your birthday and even your children's birthdays at some point. And as your children get older and their activities increase, conflicting schedules will become a fact of life.
When you're juggling all the legalities of your divorce, you might be tempted to just sit out this holiday ... but don't! Holidays and festivals are important rituals and they're part of what makes a family. Think about how many of your own memories about your family are centered around an occasion. Recreating these traditions after divorce is an important part of reassuring your children that you are still a family. Keep reading ...
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