Being one-half of a couple doesn't mean you are any less of a whole.
Have you ever entered in to an agreement with someone and left feeling that you gave more than the other person? Perhaps you've found yourself giving away much more than you receive in a relationship, and subsequently feel like there is a lack of commitment present. Maybe you've started out with great intentions, only to let go of everything you believe in and value, as you give too much to your partner.
In considering what commitment means, I am reminded about times when I have begun a relationship with the strong belief it's going to work out well for both of us. When it hasn't necessarily "worked out," and I've spent hours, days, months or even years doing and giving for the sake of the other person, I leave feeling something was not quite right to begin with.
What was it I had missed? What was it I was committing to? I have often thrown myself into projects and different lives based on what others think and want, not what I know to be true for me or what I actually want for myself. Could this be the same for you?
During my work with singles, I have come across people who aren't sure how to "get someone to commit to them." I ask them what in their lives they are currently committing to, and they're often unsure. Committing to someone without losing yourself requires an assurance that who you are committing to is on the same page as you. And that requires knowing exactly where you place value and what's important to you.
We can learn relationship lessons from other aspects of our lives, as well. There have been times when I've committed myself to business arrangements with others who wish to develop a partnership. However, what I've often discovered is a lack of resolve and action on their part when I've put heart and soul into making sure I complete what I've agreed to. Perhaps a signed contract would have helped with this and prevented the commitment breach. How can we make sure we hold our romantic partners accountable in the same way? Keep reading...
More commitment advice from YourTango:
- 8 Tell-Tale Signs Of A Commitment-Phobe
- 3 Steps To Get The Commitment You Want
- Relationship Advice & Expert Tips