Here at Lucky Bloke, we realize even the sexiest in all the land, may take a break
from getting lucky, and then need to get back into the swing of things. Often, this
can be a bit intimidating. From who will buy condoms to will I remember how to do this? –we understand, there is a lot to navigate.
During one of our sexier missions (in Las Vegas, no surprise), we met Meghan Fitz. We can't thank her enough for being willing to share some very intimate details and perspective on transitioning from a sex drought to something more...
You guys, I have a confession to make.
My privates are lonely.
They bought a one-way ticket to Vibrator-ville awhile ago and I haven't know when they might be coming back. Let’s just say it’s been somewhere between 3 and 30 years since I’ve had sex. Anyone who tells you that having sex for the first time (after an extended drought) is like "riding a bike" is a deranged liar who should have their mouth duck taped. At least, that is my current opinion.
Recently, I found myself in a situation (with a pretty hot guy) where I really wanted to break my winning (losing?) streak, I totally panicked and it got weird. Not to mention that ANY condom I might have had from my previous glory days has long since expired.
Now, I realize there are 7 super important things you need to consider before dipping your toe back into getting down with your boyfriend/guy you’re seeing/person you’re flirting with/however the kids say it these days.
Yes, I know, It’s so tempting to jump in bed with any 8-pack that weasels his way into your place, but just don’t. Building trust first is going to help you navigate through all of the critical details that culminate with a very fun and sexy time!
You know what happens when you tell a guy that you’re a sexual acrobat that practically wrote an addendum to Kama Sutra? Well. He actually expects you to do crazy moves –and then you have to tell him that you can’t actually do the splits while hanging upside down in a car. In reality, all you can remember is which hole it goes into. So, ladies, be honest, and, if you’ve followed rule #1, your guy will take it at just the right speed for you.
I mean, it’s like the world has changed so dramatically in the time that I’ve had sex that I feel like I’m stuck with a profile on MySpace and the rest of the world has moved on to Twitter. (I mean, sexually speaking, of course. I do actually have a Twitter!)
For someone like me who thinks that strawberry flavored glitter lube is the coolest thing and is obviously stuck in 2001, then you might need a little help in the sexy department.
Enter the Lucky Bloke Pleasure Pack. Incredible sexy stuff – like from EUROPE! – tested, sourced, procured, sorted and mailed directly to your door in a box that says THANK THE LORD, MY VAGINA ISN’T GOING TO SHRIVEL INTO NOTHING. Okay, that part is not true, but the fancy (yet, totally affordable) stuff inside will make you want to make your man wear a top hat in bed just so you can throw it off, or leave it on depending on what you’re into! Let's just say you'll now have some tools in your sexy arsenal for some mutual inspiration.
If you’ve been experiencing an extended drought, you’ve probably be taking care of things on your own. Which is awesome. But, remember that you know your body better than anyone so it’s not going to be the same. If you’re not getting off right away, just chill out and use the time for something useful like making a grocery list. No. No. No, just kidding – I don’t know anyone who would do such a thing!
5. Sense of Humor.
Pretty self explanatory. If you can’t laugh at yourself or your partner, he probably shouldn’t be the oasis to your sexual desert.
You have done this at one time. You did make someone’s eyes roll back in their head at some point. (Suggestions 1-5 are going to give you a really great start. So take a deep breath and relax.)
For me personally, I don’t want to take birth control if I don’t have to. Adding hormones to my body scares me –and frankly, as much as I'd prefer not to think about it the fact that most carriers of STDs don't even know they have one, as that scares me even more!
So, even though you’ll feel like you’re back in high school, you’re not. You’re much smarter now so be prepared. I’m especially talking to you, ladies.
It is easier than ever to have a drawer stocked full of condoms. For someone lazy like me, or someone who gets embarrassed buying condoms, they can literally come STRAIGHT TO YOUR DOOR via Lucky Bloke. When it comes to condoms, there are so many options that it makes my head hurt, so I let the experts help and, generally, stick with their Ultimate Condom Sampler! It makes for a fun time when you both get to choose: Will it be ribbed or studded, an ultrathin condom from Japan, a little European goodness? You get the idea.
Unfortunately, it didn’t work out with the guy mentioned above, but that’s okay. I have my condoms and lube ready, and am feeling more confident than ever…Next time, we'll start slow, and maybe doing the splits while hanging upside down in a car is in my future…Perhaps, not.
Lucky Bloke extends a huge thank you to our friend in adventure and safety (and guest writer), Meghan Fitz. You can follow Meghan onTwitter. You'll be glad you did!