Everyone at some point in their lives is faced with the cold hard facts that in some area of their life change needs to occur - big time! For many people, their whole lives are about avoiding the changes they need to make. However, life has a funny way of catching up with you, and when it does it can be very overwhelming to know even where to begin to implement change.
So we all know where we need to make changes. Perhaps we think we can hide from the rest of the world but at the end of the day we cannot hide from ourselves. No one is better equipped to figure out what changes you need to make in your life than you. Even when you are being true to yourself ( ie stepping out of denial) it is just not as simple as deciding "ok I need to make a change here." Just like people who want to quite smoking or drinking or taking drugs, it is extremely difficult to break old patterns. In fact, the direction that is most difficult and confronting to us is usually exactly the direction we need to head in. Go in the direction you find most frightening and you are on your way out of the darkness. Who invented this life thing anyway?? God knows it can feel like that at times. Is there anything more frustrating then watching yourself make the same mistakes over and over again, knowing you are are making them and not being able to stop yourself?!!
It is not lack of knowledge that keeps us bound. The internet is full of free self help information, not to mention hundreds of thousands of self help books written on every topic imaginable. Its just like when we decide we need to loose some weight. Unless you somehow missed the last 20 years on the planet we have all been made at least remotely aware of what constitutes good nutrition and we know there are countless ways to get plenty of exercise. Its the fact that we still have to stop eating cake and go out for a run that is the challenge.
Just like a personal trainer, a dating and relationship coach like myself is not here to tell you what is best for you in your life. We are here to help you identify and stick to your goals, walk beside you into the darkness of your fears and help you through to the other side. Changing your life patterns is never easy, but when you do there is nothing more rewarding. We are also here to cheer you on when you do make progress - no matter how small that progress may seem to you. Gaining momentum is what it is all about. It takes a lot of hard work in the beginning to get the ball rolling but once its starts to pick up speed there is no stopping you.
The area of dating and relationship is your life is usually responsible for the greatest joy and sorrow we can experience as humans. Love is definitely where its at. We can all fool ourselves sometimes and say "I am better off on my own" and perhaps that is true for the time being but in the end we all deserve to see our special light reflected in someone else eyes. Dysfunctional relationship patterning is normal how is that for a paradox? What I mean is we are all human, down here learning to be better humans or trying our best to avoid our lessons. Even when you think you have the whole love thing figured out your dream partner can be killed in an accident and bang you are back having to be human again. Life is difficult but once you accept that fact you can move into finding the humor in it. What is really the funniest part of all is when you decide to make a change for the better its almost like the universe turns up the volume and every one of your fears gets amplified screaming back at you "oh ya change that why doncha" This is the part where you get to laugh because that really is God's sense of humor. A coach is someone who can be there to remind you of these little paradoxes in life and help you laugh when you feel like giving up. We can remind you of the things you promised yourself in your weaker moments of temptation like when that incredibly sexy, downright desirable bad boy is singing your song and you have sworn to yourself you are not walking down that dark road again. Although we cannot make choices for you nor can we tell you what choices to make but we can support you in the choices you make for yourself and be there to pick you up and dust you off when you fall off the wagon so to speak.
Relationships are downright frustrating at times. How is it that the person who can give you so much pleasure can also cause you so much grief? Ah yes back to the paradox of life again. Well with a lot of understanding, patience, openness and discipline relationships can improve and love can flow more freely. You can't change your partner but you can change yourself and how you react to your partner. Coaches are here to help you identify the things that work for you in relationship and the things that don't. When you have two will parties wanting to improve a relationship even better but it can be done alone as well. I know from my own personal experience just how hard it is not to fall into unhealthy behaviors even when I have been intimately aware of what I need not be doing. Sometimes the charge can be so strong, just like a junkie who needs their fix, we struggle so hard to not want to fall into our pattern. A good coach is there for you in these times when you feel you cannot break free so to speak. If you can catch yourself in the split second before you loose your cool or make that call or say something you will regret or worse do something you will definitely regret and reach out to someone who genuinely cares and knows what you are struggling with - change can occur. Life is difficult and so is loving ourselves and each other at times. If we all support ourselves in this journey - imagine how brightly we can get the world to shine.