The 14 Dating Traps and What you Can Do To Avoid Them


Are you beginning to sense a pattern in the potential partners you attract???
This blog is dedicated to helping you identify and avoid the 14 most common Dating Traps most singles can fall prey too. Knowledge and self awareness is always the first step in breaking unhealthy relationship patterns. It certainly isn't an easy task to change one's life but with the right attitude and some loving support and guidance anyone has the potential to attract the relationship of their dreams. To feel the love that is their divine right and to share that love with their ideal pattern. David Steele, the Founder of the Relationship Coaching Institute ( the school where I have been studied to be a Dating and Relationship Coach) came up with this great way of identifying common pattern is dating and the way we approach dating. I find it so useful in my practice coaching singles to be "Conscious Daters" that I wanted to share it with you. Please let me know what you think and if you have found my lens helpful. Enjoy xx

14 Dating Traps
By David Steele


1. Marketing Trap

You believe that you need to make yourself more appealing to attract and "sell"
yourself with an attractive packaging and presentation. When you fall into the
Marketing Trap, you fear that nobody will want you as you really are. By "marketing"
yourself, you risk disappointment and relationship failure. So, when the excitement
and promise of the "sizzle" conflicts with the reality of the "steak," one or both of
you are left feeling disappointed and angry.

2. Packaging Trap

You focus on outside packaging - such as someone's body, looks, job, wealth, material
possessions - and overlook the reality of the person inside. The Packaging Trap is the opposite of the Marketing Trap: instead of seeking to sell yourself with attractive packaging, you focus on the packaging of others.

3. Scarcity Trap

You believe there is a limited supply of possible partners, and therefore think that
you have to take what you can get or be alone. The Scarcity Trap results in
relationship failure because there is a temptation to settle for less: you believe you can't get what really want because there is not enough to go around. Unfortunately,it's a self-fulfilling prophecy because when you expect less, you get less.

4. Compatibility Trap

Assuming that if you have fun together and get along well, you are compatible and a
committed relationship will work. Results in relationship failure when discovering the vast difference between a fun-focused, recreational "dating" relationship, and a
serious long-term committed relationship. Being so different, the process and
criteria for choosing a recreational relationship needs to be very different from
choosing a Life Partner.

5. Fairytale Trap

Passively expecting your ideal partner to magically appear and live happily ever after without effort on your part. Believing that finding your soul mate will just "happen". Results in disappointment when the frogs that happen to jump into your life don'tbecome princes.

6. Date-to-Mate Trap

Becoming an "instant couple" as if giving each person you date an extended test drive.Believing that if you develop an exclusive relationship with someone you are dating, a successful committed relationship will eventually happen. Other terms for this are"Serial Monogamy" and the "Mini-Marriage. This approach is a costly use of time and emotional energy.

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