Why is it that I have spent the best part of my life detoxing myself away from the bad boys so I could meet my Mr. Right, only to find myself in complete despair and disappointment? I have found the guy who treats me well, he's physically attractive and I am proud to introduce him to my friends. And yet I feel this major inner turmoil that my man, with all of his wonderful qualities, is somewhat disappointing. Where did the excitement go? Where did my attraction go? Is this it?
Why do women feel this painful truth that falling in love is not as exciting as we hoped it would be?
When we are attracted to a man who is kind, loving and devoted, it takes away the adrenaline rush. We are so accustom to it, thinking does he like me or when will he call?. Our sexual attraction is on an all-time high and we just can't get enough of that mysterious man who floats in and out of our life.
The contrast between love and pain is excitment. Drama, make up sex, fear of loss, pleasure, heartache and passion can be an exhilarating experiences but rarely last.
Giving up the adrenaline rush is not easy, it means you have to give up habits you have being developing for years.
Quitting bad boys can be compared to giving up smoking. You know smoking is bad for you, you know long term it is going to damage your health. Temptation is everywhere, especially at weekends when you are out for a drink with your friends.
You say to yourself I will just have one, I will just sleep with him this one time. Now you find yourself repeating the cycle, obsessing again about the new guy you slept with last week that you know you regret. Is he going to call me, are we going to get back together again? Why, why, why did I just do that? When I am I going to stop smoking the bad stuff?
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In order to find the quality guy attractive it takes a lot of inner strength. Inner strength to walk away from something that you know deep in your heart is not and will not serve you. He does not care, he will not care and you are not important to him. Cry, weep, scream, detox that bad boy out of your system and start anew.
Initially finding quality guys attractive takes some time, these are new feeling for you. Feeling good about yourself does not feel right. Feeling safe with someone makes you feel even more insecure. You have a fear of loss or fear that you won't be attracted to your quality man long term.
Sit with these feelings, give yourself time. Feeling good can feel bad initially. It's not a space that you are familiar with but I can reassure you once you start this journey, you will never look back. The rewards you will receive from a genuine love is far greater than any quick fix from a bad boy.
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