Is it worth it to play the "dating game"?
I knew a woman who had her own rules when it came to dating.
Here were Jane's Rules:
- The person you are dating calls you, you never call him.
- You see the person once or twice a week, no more than that for the first year.
- No mentioning the 'love' word until 6-12 months into the relationship.
Why did Jane develop the "Jane rules?"
Well, this dear friend of mine would fall to fast to the person she was interested in without reason and become would obsessed. So, she created these rules.
How did these rules bite her back?
She ended up marrying someone with autism, which has spurred many challenges in her marriage. She lives out in the middle of no where, her husband becomes obsessive (right now it is playing the drum 6-8 hours at a time) and she has to teach him rudimentary social cues, such as "Say goodbye before leaving the house."
She is thirsty for more affection and attention, always. Why? Because she meets his needs, but he never meets hers. She asked for a divorce, he doesn't understand, and now he overextends himself in a very sweet way to meet his needs, but ultimately thinks she is crazy.
Ladies, please learn from Jane.
Yes, play the game a bit. The game of seduction is fun and enjoyable and the opposite is so dull and blunting, so we're made to believe. But, at a certain point, if the other person is not hungry for more, it is a signifier that maybe this person is happy with so little. Which is fine, if you are. I was going to try to make this little article more fun, more comical, but actually it is really sad to watch my friend so sincerely unhappy for such an extended period of time. Contemplating divorce, and then waffling back and forth. Oy.
*name changed to protect Jane's identity