ProConnect

Confessions Of An Imposter Mom: Playground Politics

By

Confessions Of An Imposter Mom: Playground Politics
I admit it. I'm an a**hole on the playground...

I'm not proud of what I'm about to say, but here goes...

 

More from YourTango: Foster Parenting: When Dad Is Doting And Mom Is A Moody Impostor

I'm a real a**hole on the playground.

More specifically, I may be ruining young psyches with my playground politics.

 

Case in point: The little blond girl we'll call Julia.

In my defense, Julia's a real prima dona. Blonde. Prissy. Know-it-all. She may only be five or six now, but I see Julia's future. She's that cliquey sorority slut you run into at frat parties in college and instantly despise.

But I'm getting ahead of myself.

Back to little Julia. I see her at the playground often. She and her friends (whose 40something Mexican nannies are also clique-ish) are always running AWAY from The Wee One, who genuinely just wants to make friends.

 

Here's how that goes:

Julia and her friends (all around the 5-6 year old range) are playing in the sand. The Wee One (all of 18 months) plops down to join them. Julia and her friends run away. The Wee One, thinking it's a game, gets up and runs after them, smiling, giddy. Julia gives The Wee One the stank eye as she and her friends run faster or climb a tree to escape.

 

The adult in me gets the dynamic. My inner brat (we'll call her Bratty McBraxton) does NOT. Personally offended, I swoop in, try to distract The Wee One with one of her toys or the enticement of THE SLIDE (it really IS the best thing to do on the playground). Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. For the most part, The Wee One appears untraumatized by the playground politics.

I, on the other hand, feel overly emotional and rejected.

 

Who's the REAL baby, you ask?

Insert dramatic eye roll.

 

So back to Julia and me.

I've spent the better part of six months studying her behavior. And I don't like her. She's bossy. Possessive. Demanding. A real six year old.

 

So imagine how I feel when she tries to steal one of The Wee One's toys the other day...

FADE IN:

INT. PLAYGROUND - DAY

The Wee One has left her sand toys to wander aimlessly after yet another kid who's not interested in being her friend. (Oy, all my issues come up on the playground!)

Julia makes a grab for The Wee One's coolest toy.

More from YourTango: 4 Reasons To Get Back With An Ex - Or Not

I catch Julia in the act and say...

 

"Is that your toy?"

Julia looks up at me with her big blue eyes, feigns innocence.

 

"Maybe."

"I don't think so," I counter. "That's her toy."

 

"But I want to play with it," she says, twisting a lock of blond hair around her finger, assessing if her charms will work on me.

They don't.

 

"Too bad. You're not very nice to her so we're not going to share today," I say in my best scolding voice. (This will SO be one of the scenes God plays in my Albert Brooks' Defending Your Life montage.)

Julia looks at me, surprised. Most people don't say no to her. She knows it. I know it. She hates it. I love it.

 

Share this with someone you love (or even like a lot)!

Let's make it
FB official
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Lisa Steadman

Author
Credentials: Other
Specialties: Dating/Being Single Support, Life Management
Other Articles/News by Lisa Steadman:

Foster Parenting: When Dad Is Doting And Mom Is A Moody Impostor

By

I've always known I married a man who is a far better human being than I. (My own father who loves and adores me actually told me this on my wedding day so you know it’s legit.) It should therefore come as no surprise that The Hubs took to foster-parenting "The Wee One" like a champ. It was freakish, really. Here's a man who, on ... Read more

4 Reasons To Get Back With An Ex - Or Not

By

It's over: not only is your relationship in the rearview mirror, your breakup is settling into the dust, too. And yet here you are, thinking about your ex and wondering if you gave up too quickly. Asking yourself if it's too late to make the relationship work. I get it. I've been there. Once upon a time — way before marriage with "The ... Read more

Confessions of an Imposter Mom

By

Some women wait their whole lives to become mothers. They pick out baby names before they've even met the man who will eventually become the father of their children (FOTC). On first dates with said FOTC, they bite their tongues while eagerly picturing what their babies will look like. Some of these women happily and easily become mothers, their dreams ... Read more

See More

Recent Expert Posts
Faith

3 Ways to Define Who You Want To Be

Sometimes the best way to know who you want to be is to notice how you react in the here and now.

Multi-Ethnic Senior Women In Swimming Pool

Make New Friends, Keep Good Friends

Once you have a clear idea of the kinds of friendships you would enjoy, you can decide to create mor

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Resources
How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>
HOT STUFF!
FROM OUR PARTNERS