Who says you have to be in a relationship? There are benefits of being single, and there is nothing wrong with you if you are single! I have college-age daughters who have mentioned to me that they are often asked if they have a boyfriend. This seems like a harmless question but it sometimes implies that they should have one or that there is something wrong if they don't have one.
Looking back at my high school and college years, the female relationships I cultivated have lasted, and the boyfriend turned into husband relationship ended. In retrospect, I am glad I cultivated friendships with my girl friends both in high school and college. I just enjoyed a reunion with my high school girl friends when we all turned 50, and it was incredibly fun and special to reconnect and remember our youthful adventures.
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There are many benefits of being single. You may still wish to search for a relationship, but while you are looking, be sure to enjoy what is good about being single! Here are a few perks of embracing your single status:
- Time to pursue your dreams! If you have a passion that needs your time, creativity and devotion, now is the time to go for it! Pour yourself into a cause, a career ambition, or a special project such as writing a book. Allow yourself to dig in and make it happen!
- The ability to be spontaneous and impulsive! If you want to plan a trip, go to a seminar or workshop, stay out late, change your hair color or get a tattoo, you don't have to ask permission to do so. You don't have to provide an explanation. Do what you want, when you want to do it!
- Deeper connections with friends and family. Often, when you are single, you will seek out other friendships that get pushed to the side while in a relationship. Plan outings and fun events to create memories with those in your life now!
If you are enjoying the mentioned benefits of being single and are still struggling with being at peace with your single status, there may be several reasons to consider. These issues are blocks to becoming fully at peace with being unattached.
- Looking to the future instead of the present moment. Always wishing or waiting for a different future instead of embracing your life now wastes today. It is okay to have goals and dreams, but live in the here and now and make the most of each day. By creating a terrific day today and repeating each day, you will end up having a fabulous life. Make the most of this moment!
- Focusing on lack of a relationship. If your mind constantly feels the absence of something, it only attracts more of the same! Focus on all the good things you have now with gratitude. Dwell on all the blessings in your life and skip mentioning or thinking about what you don't have.
- Focusing on scarcity of opposite sex. There are lots of great single people in the world! Take action to find where single people are hanging out whether in online dating sites or singles groups in your community. There are plenty of quality available people to date if you place yourself in an environment where they congregate.
- Unfinished business and healing from prior relationships. Take time to process, forgive and heal from failed past relationships. Take responsibility for your own understanding and role in past break-ups. Seek support with counseling, books, and groups to release any negative beliefs and feelings you may still hold.
Take responsibility of your own happiness! Once you achieve happiness on your own, you will be much more likely to find a new relationship (if you still want one) and it will be more healthy. Take care of you! Invest in your health and growth. Forgive yourself and love yourself. Once you find happiness with you, you will then be in a better place to give and receive love from someone else who has done the same.
"Giving up on the idea that we simply have to find a soulmate may be a necessary prerequisite to actually finding one. For one thing, it amounts to a decision to dissociate ourselves from our…insatiable neediness and entitlement, and to be grateful for what life has given us already."–Carolyn G. Miller
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