You don't need to question your own beauty!
Where did this gene come from in women that when we see someone beautiful we begin to question ourselves?
I remember getting ready for a great evening out with my friends. I would do my hair and makeup and look in the mirror and think I looked beautiful. I'd feel really good about myself. I’d sing in the car on the way and enjoy the tunes and look forward to an awesome evening.
Then I would get to the nightclub, the music would blare, and I would look for my friends in the sea of dancing people. They'd all be dressed to the hilt, and then it would happen: Roxanne would look more fabulous than ever, and all of a sudden I was the ugly duckling.
There was no room in my mind for two beautiful women.
This may seem like an exaggeration, but I assure you, it was my reality at one time. I remember thinking, Why do I do this to myself? Why can’t I be beautiful even in the presence of other beauty? The answer was never logical, but the behavior was insidious, and I wanted to stop it.
So how can you do this? Here are three things no beauty magazine will tell you about how to accept your own beauty, even in the presence of other beautiful people:
1. You can admire someone else’s beauty without judging your own.
Where did this rule that there was a limit on beauty come from? I don't remember anyone ever telling me this, but somehow it became my reality, and it might even be yours.
It look me a while to finally figure out that the problem wasn't everyone else. I was never enough. I compared myself to others because I didn’t think I measured up. I always wanted what I didn’t have. If a beautiful woman had the long blonde hair that I would never have, it validated my bad beliefs. Where was it ever written that we couldn’t all be beautiful without limiting anyone else?
2. This negative mindset no longer needs to be your reality.
Start with gratitude and begin by admiring yourself first. If you are anything like I was, you'll need to go back to the basics. Sit down in front of a mirror and admire your eyes, your hair, and then your smile. Be grateful for your ability to walk, talk, see, be and have.
Graduate to liking yourself as you are, and eventually you'll learn to love yourself for who you become.
3. You need to learn to "F.L.Y." (First Love Yourself)
It can be easy to admire the beauty in others without condemnation. You will begin to realize there is enough room for more beauty without questioning your own. You are free to shine a light on others, which in turn shines an even brighter light on you! When you feel confident in yourself, you will reflect that on the outside.
Know that you are already "F.A.B."— Fabulous, Awesome, Beautiful — and that will never change!
Lisa Lieberman-Wang is a licensed Neuro-Linguistic Practitioner and creator of Neuro Associative Programming (NAP). You can find more helpful tips to loving yourself and improving your life at her website, FineToFab.com, or by calling 1-844-FINEtoFAB. Pick up a copy of her book, Fine to Fab, here!