You can choose to grow from grief or stay stuck in pain.
As of late, the news stories seem grimmer than ever: massacre in Paris, planes crashing in the Indian Ocean, and just recently I read about a 5 year old child being thrown off a bridge by her father in Florida. Sometimes these stories grip me with such pain because I know what it's like to lose someone dear to me.
When I was just 6 years old, my mother was driving me to ballet class, and as we were driving through a large intersection, an ambulance came out of nowhere and slammed into us. The driver ran through his red light and didn't see us.
My mother was killed instantly and I was critically injured. My life, at that moment, changed forever.
Albeit a horrible tragedy, I believe it was meant to happen.
Because it led to other life events such as meeting my ex-husband, having children, getting divorced, and lots of heartbreak. Those life events have shaped me to the person I am today, and most importantly, my lessons learned are passed on to each of you via my writing which, hopefully, pull you out of grief as well. My one tragedy has given me the gift to positively impact thousands of others.
And so, when a tragedy happens to one, I believe a blessing happens to at least 100.
Think of every disaster that has happened: 9/11, the tsunami, school shootings, tornados, fires. Suddenly you see a massive community come together. Lives are touched and changed well beyond the people whose lives are lost. A miraculous event happens: love, BIG love.
It's not to say there is no pain when bad things happen. Of course, the pain is there and it can be unbearable.
The frustrating part is that when we are IN the pain, we can't see beyond it. We question God and the meaning of life, and wonder how could a good person like yourself experience such grief?
But when it subsides—and it always does—you can actually see the miracle before you, if you look hard.
As you ponder your own tragedy—and I know you have at least one, we all do—think about the miracle that happened following the event. Did you become closer with others? Was there an outpouring of love and concern? Perhaps you made just one new friend from it. Did you become stronger? Maybe you learned a MAJOR lesson that you never knew existed.
And from your tragedy—someone else's life was touched. You may not believe me now, but trust me on this one. When my readers share their stories with me—my life is impacted, every time. I learn something and share it with others via my writing.
Your pain, your grief, and your tragedy has actually given someone ELSE a blessing. It may take you years to actually see it—but it is there. It took me nearly 30 years to understand the blessing, but I get it now.
So yes, bad sh*t happens to good people—undoubtedly. But there is actually a positive shift that happens to hundreds of others because of it. Perhaps this is life's greatest mystery decoded.
Eh, who knows, maybe I'm totally wrong. But we have a choice here—we can fall to our knees and not come back from the pain, or we can choose the love that conquers it.
I like to choose love.