Make the deposits and love grows. Make withdrawals and love withers away before your very eyes.
Ahhh, love ... I just love, love, don't you? I mean who doesn't! Nothing makes us feel better. The funny thing about love, though, is as much as we love it and want it from all kinds of people in our life—husbands, wives, girlfriends, boyfriends, kids, parents, siblings, friends we often don't act in the most loving way toward them and vice versa.
A dear friend and I were chatting recently and she was sharing all the exciting things that are happening in her new business. She also told me that her husband said to her in passing, "So, I suppose when this business takes off and you become rich and successful you won't need me around anymore."
Her response? She looked at him like he was nuts, brushed off the comment and left the room.
A red flag went up for me when she told me this. I shared with her that perhaps his comment holds a great deal of truth and that he really is feeling insecure even though it seemed silly to her since they've been married forever. That got her thinking. I love it when I get people thinking!
I suggested that she go back to him and apologize for her initial reaction and tell him how much she loves him and needs him, especially during this time. How she values his opinion and without his support along the way none of this would be possible. She got the message loud and clear. The result when she put the plan into action? He was so grateful, loving her all the more for going back to him and expressing herself from love.
What my friend did the moment she went back to speak to her husband was put a deposit in their love bank account.
Her initial reaction toward him? Well, that was a withdrawal from the love account.
Here's the deal. We all know how good it feels when we deposit money into our bank accounts and how stressful it can be when we withdraw more money than we've been depositing. It works the same way with love. You either make withdrawals or you make deposits. And from what I see in my work with clients and people in my personal life, many of them are making so many withdrawals from their love accounts that they are actually overdrawn. It's no wonder their relationships are struggling. They're operating in the red!
Unfortunately, like with bank accounts, it's a whole lot easier to keep withdrawing than to put in the time, effort and energy required to be able to make deposits.
Withdrawals can take place in the form of a nasty look, silence, sarcasm, dismissing what someone has said as ridiculous, yelling, making fun of and even gossiping. Basically, anything that has you reacting negatively because you haven't stopped to think about what you're about to say or do. Withdrawals happen because of a lack of inner awareness in the moment, experiencing a trigger point and sometimes because of your need to self-protect.
Now deposits, well, they take effort when you're not used to making them with the one you love. They require that you think before you react. They require that you operate from a higher consciousness with your words, the tone of your voice, the way you look at someone.
The more you practice making deposits the easier it becomes and before you know it, you've got interest growing. This built up interest makes the next withdrawal a little less painful and it's easier to forgive. This I know first hand because my husband and I have a whole lot of interest in our love account, and because of this we do forgive more quickly and put the withdrawals behind us when they occur.
The interesting thing that happens when you're aware of doing withdrawals, is it doesn't just hurt the person you withdrew the love from, you actually feel a twinge of pain inside you, as well. And because of this, there's a strong desire to make up for that withdrawal by making a deposit as soon as possible.
So starting today, I encourage you to see how many deposits you can make every day to keep your love account in the black and growing interest!
Linda Salazar, founder of Your Heart Is In Your Hands, is a Relationship Coach, author, speaker and media personality working with smart, proactive, spiritually open women who are ready for remarkable relationships.
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