As we age, we hear a lot about physical ailments, retirement, empty-nests or grown kids moving back home. We hear about losing our memory, menopause and the dismal statistics on finding love after 50. I think we could use a new perspective, don't you?
One of the things I've truly enjoyed and found to be even more powerful after I turned the big five-O is the fun I have with my positive gal pals. Notice I said positive — that is the key to feeling exuberant and happy with your friends. Just like you, I'm not interested in commiserating about declining health or the men my age seeking twenty-somethings in an attempt to reverse their ego erosion. I want quality conversations, fun adventures and a group of positive female friends. The quality men come around once we are comfortable with ourselves as happy women who are fun to be with at any age.
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What I've noticed is that my health is soaring and I feel good every day because I take care of myself. If something about me is going south, instead of looking into and cursing the mirror, I look to my female friendships for support and enthusiasm to repair, release, or adjust my perspective about whatever needs a boost (including my butt, which I'll get to later).
Now, I know society has us believing that we're on the dying side of the hill and nothing is left of us but out-of-whack hormones and saggy skin. But it's our choice to buy into their drudgery or not, and I beg to differ with their depressing, sadistic view of my age and dismal fate. Are you with me? I healed my hormones with emotional release techniques I use in one my life coaching programs and no longer have hot flashes (personal summers). I only had them for six weeks and I knew what I heard about them was certainly not for me to buy into. It is possible to regenerate rather than degenerate, and I think 50+ is the perfect age to do it.
How To Develop New Positive Female Friendships
My best girlfriends are women I keep in touch with regularly, oftentimes daily, and I've never even met one of them in person. Sound weird? Let me explain.
I met one of my positive gal pals in a business program delivered by telephone several years ago. The program had two calls per week and this woman always asked questions that caused me to think deeper than I had been. I admired her thought process as she inspired me to visualize a bigger picture for my business. A year later, we met up online to talk and ended up on the phone for hours. We then became accountability partners and encouraged and supported each other daily for years. She is still one of my prized positive gal pals. I must mention that she and I have very little in common regarding our life situations; she, a married mom of two little boys and me a single gal, with no children by choice. We have never met in person, live in different states and have been friends for years. She says something brilliant or profound every time we talk without even trying. She is intelligent, ridiculously funny, very inspiring, 18 years younger than I am, and I treasure her.
Another of my special positive gal pals and I met by phone when she called me to meet the person who had already purchased the domain name she wanted for her business. We talked on the phone for hours (is this a pattern?) and didn't even live in the same country! We've been buddies for years, and no matter how long between conversations, it always feels like we spoke just yesterday. I've met her once in person when I was invited to bring a friend to a business seminar. She is magnificent and inspires me with her triumphant life and story that would have left most people negative and bitter if they were even alive after what she's gone through. I met her afterward and was astounded at her true life story. She is an exceptional role model and I'm proud to call her my friend. Her adult daughter writes her the most beautiful letters any mother would ever hope to receive and I can see that she has truly become the person and mother she was always meant to be, despite her early choices and most likely because of them.
I met another very special friend online a few years ago. She was referred to my website because her business was similar but she waited over a year until another person referred her to me before she contacted me. Yes, you guessed it. We spoke for hours on the phone when we met. (I'm definitely seeing a pattern here). I was honored to meet her in person when she flew across the country for a three day girlfriend adventure to Catalina Island with me and some other gals I later realized I hadn't known well enough to travel with. That's another story and feeds nicely into my article about frenemies. We got to meet in person again when she came to San Diego for a Deepak Chopra event. This friend always provides a new perspective when we talk and I model how she does certain things that are so different from my own way. She is my constant reminder to live each day loving people, especially the ones that inspire me to feel the opposite about them, as they are the ones who need it most. And the positive vibration I create by responding in a healthy way blesses them and brings more goodness into my life — including more friends like her.
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I met another quality gal pal on a sailboat at a meetup event one summer, and it took over a year for us to connect again on Facebook. I posted one of my favorite Tuesday posts that suggest my Positive Women Rock page readers contact someone they haven't connected with in a while. Since I walk my talk and this gal said something to the effect of, "Hey, I've been meaning to contact you," it was the perfect opportunity to send her a private Facebook message. Since that day, we've had many adventures around San Diego together. My other quality gal pals are not local so it's extra fun to have someone like her to hang out with. Realize you may meet someone and it may take time to grow to be the people who will be on the same page (mentally, emotionally and spiritually) at the same time. The best thing to do is to keep putting yourself in positions to meet new people so there are plenty of opportunities later on, if not instantly. A really fantastic thing about this friend is that we have both done a lot of personal development work and have very meaningful, life-changing talks. This is a common thread with all of my positive girlfriends, as consistent personal development is one of my core values. Keep Reading...
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