Does Your Definition Of Happy Make You Unhappy?

By

Does Your Definition Of Happy Make You Unhappy?
While looking for what we think is going to make us happy we miss out on what happiness really is.

We all have our own definition of happy. Have you ever considered that yours is making you unhappy?

When we picture certain events happening in our lives before we can be happy (promotion, marriage, new home), we look for those specific situations and set ourselves up to miss out on many experiences that may have lead us to happiness in a different way.

  1. What if that thing that transforms our life for the better takes on a different appearance than we're looking for?
  2. What if we are supposed to experience something other than what we have our heart set on?
  3. What if we are missing the whole point of this life along with fabulous journeys we can't even imagine because we are so set in our vision and definition of happy that we have become blind?
  4. What if happy is something we become instead of something we find?

How Can Some People Be Destitute And Happy?

Some people are what we would consider destitute, poor and sick and still seem happy. It may be all they know. They are not waiting for something or someone to make them happy. Happiness is already inside them. They are grateful to be here and live each day.

No matter what their situation seems to us, they are likely happier than we are because happiness comes from within instead of from other people and situations. They are without things we think are necessities but are happy inside.

  1. Are these people ignorant to what life has to offer and uneducated? Maybe, in our not-so-humble opinion.
  2. Have they never imagined what it would be like to have a house and car and plenty of food on the table each night? Maybe.
  3. Are they still happier than many of us are because they don't live in a rat race and worry about what others think of them constantly? Probably.
  4. Do they have a spiritual center that keeps them strong and balanced no matter what the hardship? I believe they do.

Whether they know it or not and whether we acknowledge it or stay stuck in our pride, some people we think should be unhappy, based on our definition of happy, may have cornered the market on happy.

We may see them as unfortunate but are we the unfortunate ones? Are the people who can be happy no matter what they do or don't have the fortunate ones? Are the people who hold so tight to their definition of happy that they are miserable their entire lives possibly the unfortunate ones? Is this a bit of a perspective shift?

Happy is something we are not something we find. Happy is a decision, not a destination.

How Can Some People Be Financially Wealthy And Miserable?

Some people are so poor the only thing they have is money. They are missing quality relationships, love, sincere friendships, good health and spiritual connection and although they have what so many seek in order to be happy (money), these people are miserable. Many destroy their health in their quest for money and then spend all of their money in an attempt to regain their health, which is never truly successful. Keep Reading...

More Juicy Content From YourTango

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Kelly Rudolph

Life Coach

Kelly Rudolph
Certified Life Coach | Certified Hypnotherapist | CEO at PositiveWomenRock | Speaker/Presenter

Coach Kelly Rudolph walks her talk and implements her own personal growth plan on a dialy basis, translating into greater understanding, experience and strategies for her clients.

Her personal story is one of tragedy-to-triumph. Learn more at: PositiveWomenRock.com

Join Kelly on her Positive Women Rock Facebook page and sign up for her FREE Life Strategies.
 

Location: La Jolla, CA
Credentials: ACC
Specialties: Life Management, Life Transitions, Stress Management
Other Articles/News by Kelly Rudolph:

Adults Get Bullied, Too — And It Hurts Just As Much

By

Have you ever had a gal-pal who insisted on behaving like a teenage girl with an identity crisis? I know, teenage girls and identity crises are synonymous, but what is the impact of an adult woman playing the same games? Let's say you are in a group of friends who go out together every weekend and have a great time. But suddenly, you begin seeing photos ... Read more

Is There Ever A Good Reason To Be Friends With Benefits?

By

The common definition of "friends with benefits" is a sexual relationship with someone to whom you do not have any emotional ties or commitment. While there are valid reasons why you may engage in this type of partnership, there are also many why you may reconsider. Let's dig a bit deeper into this topic so you can make an educated ... Read more

How To Tell If Your Relationship Is Emotionally Abusive

By

Having had my share of abusive relationships, I was inspired to become a Certified Life Coach and Personal Safety Trainer & Self-Defense Instructor to teach others about the signs that a relationship is veering into unhealthy territory. Stick with me here and you'll learn about why emotional abuse (or any other kind of abuse) occurs. Emotional abuse ... Read more

See More

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

FROM AROUND THE WEB