Expert Blog Compelling advice, stories, and thought-provoking perspectives straight from YourTango's lineup of Experts to you

You Are Worth The Love

Love, Self

We are not our mistakes. What we are worth the love.

I made a soap-opera worthy mistake shortly after I graduated high school. Without going into great detail, suffice it to say I was torn between my very own Rhett and Ashley.  My decision-making skills and behavior would have shamed even Scarlett herself.

The tangled web of lies and deceit, I carefully wove very quickly disintegrated trust and shattered lives for years, including my own. This drama trauma I created for myself led to so much self-inflicted guilt and shame that I became convinced that I was destined to be unworthy, unwanted and completely valueless forever. 

Finally, after years of punishing myself and allowing others to validate my perceived lack of self worth, one day I’d just had enough. I decided that I would no longer pay for they poor judgment of my eighteen year old self. I would no longer allow myself, or anyone else for that matter, make me feel less than the beautiful, smart, loyal, amazing lady that I am.  

Instead of beating myself up I began to affirm in my mind that I am worthy, I am loveable, and I am valuable. I began to respect myself and actually take steps to treat myself worthy, loveable and valuable.  More importantly, I forgave myself.  Once I was on-board with a little self-respect and self-love, I began to attract respectful relationships that reflected back to me those desired qualities. 

I share that significantly summarized story with you for one reason and that reason is this: We are not our mistakes. 

At any moment we can make a different choice, we can choose a different path, and we can be a better person.

If you feel haunted by something stupid you did, or burdened by a cloak of guilt or shame that either you placed on yourself or that you have allowed others to place on you by others, choose to forgive yourself, clean up whatever mess you created, and then in the words of Taylor Swift, “Shake It Off,” and in the words of the cute kids' movie, Meet the Robinsons, “Keep moving forward.”

“If people refuse to look at you in a new light and they can only see you for what you were, only see you for the mistakes you've made, if they don't realize that you are not your mistakes, then they have to go.” ― Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free

Today is a new day and this day promises to bring you grand hope.  Affirm to yourself over and over again until you finally believe that today will be better than yesterday. Today you are one step closer to accomplishing something even greater than what you have accomplished before. Today your dreams will finally be within your grasp. Today brings hope, but you must choose to bring your sheer will and determination to turn your hopes and dreams into reality.

Remember, you are not your mistakes. What you are is worth the love.

For more information about how LeNae can help you shift into feeling like the worthy energy of love that you are, visit    

This article was originally published at LeNae Goolsby. Reprinted with permission from the author.


Explore YourTango