Everything I learned about being in relationship, I learned in a fishing boat.
There is nothing more relaxing than being on the lake fishing... I mean being in the arms of a lover who adores you, who bathes your body with kisses of gratitude at the privilege of loving you. In an interactive dance of the heart you see each other and think how wonderful life is.
And when the relationship moves into another moment in time where your backs are to each other or your finger is pointing outwards in blame at having your needs not met, you’re left wondering, “What happened?” “How did we end up here?”
Tears of joy turn into tears of grief and you wonder how you could ever go on. You wonder if you’ll ever be happy again. You wonder if you’ll ever feel the blissful heart opening wonder of being fully received.
Fishing can teach us some of the most important relationship lessons so we can keep our hearts open to the love that we are. Here are three lessons that fishing taught me. The most important one is the last one.
Lesson #1 – Prepare!
Just like in fishing, relationships require preparation. “Make sure you have your fishing poles and bait” – translates to: Are you a good communicator? Do you know how to draw your partner in so s/he want’s to bite?
“Remember to put the plug in the bottom of the boat so you don’t sink” – translates to: Do your own work so you don’t bring baggage from the past into your current relationship – if the baggage is too heavy you will sink.
“Buy your fishing license before you cast your line” translates to: Make sure you’re available to fully participate in the relationship. Put yourself fully into it in each moment without any expectations. Remember that the worst day of fishing is better than the best day of….
Lesson #2 –Clean up the mess!
If you’ve ever been fishing, you know that blood and guts get over everything and it’s messy! You do not want to go to sleep with that mess all over you. Take the time to wipe away the tears and to say you’re sorry. Being slow to anger and quick to forgive will make clean up less cumbersome.
Lesson #3 – Catch and release!
Let the fish go every single time. This is a daily practice that will keep you present and open to love. It’s easy to fall asleep in relationship because you think it’s going to last forever or you’re sure you get to take it home and keep it forever. It is your ‘knowing’ that makes it okay to take each other for granted. It is your belief that the relationship is forever that gives you permission to not show up fresh each day bringing your compassion and excitement to each moment.
Make it a practice each and every day to love fully and then let go at the end of the meeting or the end of the day to start anew at each meeting. You never really know what will happen when you part… never… Release your partner each moment while keeping your heart open. Bring awareness that feeds your gratitude for the love you have in this moment. And this moment…. And this moment…
Living the practice of ‘catch and release’ will allow you to love fully and always be in gratitude for what you have. If your relationship changes through a death or breakup, you can be assured of your capacity to continue in love because you’ve made it a daily practice.
If you fish, send me your best kept secrets at Leila@ReclaimYourselfAfterDivorce.com and if you want to learn more of mine, download my 7 Key Practices for Moving On at www.ReclaimYourselfAfterDivorce.com