3 Ways To Follow Up With A Cyber Crush


3 Ways To Follow Up With A Cyber Crush [EXPERT]
Easy ways to get dates and how to avoid looking desperate when dating online.

One crucial part of online dating is sending messages. But, while it's simple to send an email into cyberspace, it's not always as easy to obtain a response. However, there's a secret that not everyone employs: the follow up message. Why Humor Is Sexy: A Zoosk Study

In the world of cyber love, there are lots of factors that can deter a match from emailing you back:


  • They're busy at the moment. You never know what's going on in other people's lives. It's a common misconception that if someone logs on, reads your email, clicks through to your profile and doesn't respond, it means they aren't interested in you. Not always the case! It may simply mean that they didn't have time to write you back right then, but might get to it later. Keep an open mind.
  • Their dating calendar is full. Just because your match has an active profile doesn't mean he or she is actively dating. They may be checking messages, but their dance card might be full. When a dating calendar gets full, matches will sometimes wait a while to respond until things cool off and they're ready (and eager) to meet someone new. 
  • They don't pay. Most paid dating sites allow all members to have profiles, but only those who pay for a subscription can message. Just because someone showed up as a match and has logged on recently doesn't mean he or she is a full-fledged member who can reply to your messages.
  • You got lost. If their inbox is a virtual hot spot, your message might have been buried or deleted before it was even read.
  • Your profile wasn't good enough. If your photos were unclear or your text wasn't specific, you might not have made the cut.

This doesn't mean that all hope is lost! Online dating takes persistence, so send a follow up to get your match's attention. Since each scenario is different, below are the 3 most common ones my clients encounter and easy troubleshooting tips. The Hidden Dangers Of Online Dating

1. The 10/3 rule

If it's been more than 10 days since you emailed and they've logged on within the last three, it's ok to send a follow up. The goal is to keep it short and sweet — no negativity or guilt trips.

Let him or her know that you're still hoping to connect. However, be prepared for it to not always go your way. Your match might respond with, "Best of luck" ... or not at all. If they do read it and don't answer within a few days, at least there's closure and you know it wasn't simply a missed connection.

2. Revamp your stats

If it's been a while since you got a virtual update, think about uploading some new photos and revising your profile before reaching out again. Seeing a new digital impression often elicits responses from matches who may have previously passed you over. Compatibility 2012: eHarmony Versus HowAboutWe

3. Disappearing act

This article was originally published at eFlirt Expert, LLC . Reprinted with permission.
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Laurie Davis


Laurie Davis is an online dating expert and the author of Love @ First Click: The Ultimate Guide to Online Dating. Her company, eFlirt Expert, helps singles navigate flirting and relationships via technology by writing their online dating profiles, decoding their dates’ text messages, managing their digital dating lives, and helping them transition to meaningful, offline relationships. Laurie was nominated Best Dating Coach in the 2013 and 2012 iDate Awards and her advice has been featured in over 200 international media outlets including The New York Times, Good Morning America, Forbes, Men’s Health and Elle. She is engaged to her tweetheart who she eFlirted with in 140 characters on Twitter. Connect with her on Twitter and Facebook!

Location: New York, NY
Credentials: Other
Specialties: Communication Problems, Dating/Being Single Support, LGBT Issues (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender)
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