Being a woman is the BEST!
Masturbation and sex aren't dirty, shameful or wrong. In fact, they're just as immune boosting as a massage, as satisfying as health food, as calorie burning as exercise, and as anti-aging as a facial.
Men seem to have little shame about openly enjoying both, so why should women shy away from pleasure?
Masturbation helps you learn your own anatomy so you can better cultivate your orgasmic potential. And there's so much to learn and discover about the intimate, pleasure-giving parts of your body!
Start by exploring your external and internal clitoris, with either your hands or a sex toy of your choice.
Here are four ways they're similar ... AND one very magical, sexy way they're not:
1. Your clitoris is, on average, 3.5 to 5 inches long.
Your clitoris is more than a tiny pink pearl. The external portion is small, but the internal portion wraps around the vagina with crura (or, legs) and equals the size of a man's penis. This is why penetrative intercourse feels so good when you're aroused and the internal clitoris becomes engorged with blood.
Internally, the clitoris is so vast and complex. You can stimulate it via the urethra, vagina and even the anus, giving you orgasms from multiple angles, stimulation and forms of sex.
Unfortunately, most women are not educated enough about their bodies (nor confident enough in their sexuality) to explore these types of internal orgasms. Instead, they focus solely on pleasure from their external clitoris through masturbation or oral sex. Not to say that external clitoral orgasms aren't fantastic, there's just so much more possible!
2. Your clitoris has a hood and a shaft.
The external portion of your clitoris has a hood that protects the most sensitive part, which has more than 8,000 nerve endings. To stimulate the clitoris better, you can manually pull up on the skin just above the pubic bone to expose the shaft for stimulation (like the way an uncircumcised man pulls back the skin of his penis to expose the more sensitive portion of the head and shaft).
When you stimulate this area, you experience external clitoral and labial engorgement, including swelling and a deepening of the color of the tissue, but most of the engorgement will take place inside, along the two legs (crura) and bulbs (vestibule) that wrap around the vagina and attach to the pubic bone. This makes stimulation from places other than the external clitoris feel incredibly pleasurable!
3. Your clitoris fills with blood and becomes erect.
Within seconds of sexual stimulation, your clitoris begins to engorge, or fill with blood. Arousal begins in the mind as we get excited about the possibility of sex, or when thinking of a particular fantasy. The clitoris can also become engorged up to 168 percent after 20 minutes of moderate exercise, and can stay engorged for hours.
Not only does it become erect like a penis, but the clitoris produces lubrication to allow for penetration. It can also ejaculate, like a penis, via the Skene's glands on the anterior wall of the vagina near the urethra. Those fluids are released as a dribble, a squirt or a gush from the vagina.
Peak excitement leads to orgasm involving contractions of the pelvic muscles and uterus. A slow release of the previous engorgement follows. However, continued stimulation causes the area to become engorged once again, setting the stage for multiple orgasms of varying length, strength, and location. Oh, yeah!
4. Your clitoris is the star of your sexual response.
Unlike other erogenous zones in the body, your clitoris (both internal and external) is your most significant organ for sexual response. It has 18 structures and twice as many nerve endings as the penis, although they're made from the same embryonic tissues. This doesn't mean, however, you shouldn't still involve stimulation of other erogenous zones while engaging the clitoris.
Clitoral engorgement increases with arousal via the mouth, nipples, labia, thighs, anus and anywhere else that "gets you off." Whether or not you have an orgasm, simply stimulating the clitoris releases oxytocin and other hormones that contribute to a deep sense of well-being and relaxation and leads to better overall health.
The amazing way your clitoris is NOT like a penis:
Unlike the penis (men can only wish for this) — your clitoris actually grows as you get older.
By the time you turn 32, it's almost four times the size it was at puberty, meaning there is more surface area to stimulate with sexual activity! And it gets even better. ... By the time you reach menopause, your clitoris is seven times larger than it was at birth.
This clitoral growth, partnered with more knowledge gained about your body, more time spent masturbating, having more sexual partners, and more self-confidence, means A LOT of sexual fun to look forward as you age ... with less inhibition and, hopefully, less sexual shame.
Congratulations, you're officially a clitoris expert!
So, now that you know nearly everything there is to know about your magical clitoris, start putting this wisdom into practice. The time and energy you invest exploring your clitoris will reward you with greater relaxation, pleasure and a deeper enjoyment of sex with a partner (or partners).
And for a visual illustration of the internal and external parts of your clitoris, check out this video:
Lauren Brim is a sexual wellness coach and author of "The New Rules of Sex" a 21st Century approach to sex, love and relationships for savvy women. Get a copy on Amazon and take your sex life, pleasure and relationships to the next level!