According to a poll by WhatsYourPrice.com, 60 percent of women "test" their significant others to see if the relationship will last. As the co-owner of a company with one of the few scientifically proven love compatibility tests, I feel that it's important to set the record straight when it comes to predicting the future of a relationship. Here are a few key facts you should know about compatibility tests:
- No one test is going to guarantee long-lasting love and fulfillment!
- There are serious traps and downfalls in relying on tests to guarantee relationship success.
- If you require a test to validate your relationship, you're a long way from being ready to jump into a longterm commitment.
- The only way a test is useful is to help you get to know your partner and to appreciate, acknowledge, and accept their unique qualities. Anything else is folly.
This may sound pretty severe coming from a person who uses compatibility testing as the foundation for a coaching school, apps for mobile phones, dating compatibility determination and for counseling customers across the globe. But I'm just being realistic. Sure, we can look at endless tests that say they can predict relationship success. And of course, when most people think of tests, they think of sets of questions that will yield specific conclusions.
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The tests referenced in the WhatsYourPrice.com survey are not those types of tests. The women surveyed listed a variety of experiential "tests" they used to gauge the potential of their man. They would go on a vacation with him or spend time around friends or see how he did around other women when they weren't around. They even did a sensitivity test to see how tuned-in a man was to their wants and needs. These tests may have their value in a particular relationship, but they're completely unscientific and worthless as a statistical tool.
There is also a trap in these tests, because in the early stages of relationships, couples are usually so chemically induced into happiness that they're not able to judge their partner with any degree of real clarity. People see what they want to see and rarely what is truly there. They fantasize about the future and make exceptions for actions that their friends tell them are red flags.
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There's no question that it's useful to spend time with your partner to see how compatible you are: traveling, shopping, making split-second decisions. If you haven't done this, making a life-long committment is a big risk. This is called experiencing life together. But make sure you stay grounded so you can see and feel what is truly happening. Keep reading...
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