Single Parents Beware!

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Single Parents Beware!
Your legacy may be your child’s mental, emotional and economic demise.

Your boys will grow up to be under achievers, poor contributors to the workforce, and unsuccessful in relationships.

Your girls will be highly educated, independent, financial more secure than men and very likely also single mothers.

OUCH!!!!

Can this be true?

Recently I was working on an article for YourTango about Emotional and Physical intimacy in young adults.  I had plenty of opinions, but I wanted to look at studies and insights from other respected researchers, authors, psychologist and reporters.

After a week of more reading on-line than I have done in my lifetime, my eyes hurt, I had pages of notes and a strong sense that all the conclusions and predictions about the emancipation of men, the shifting workforce, shifting age of marriages, male-female disparity in education, etc. was missing the core issue.

I find all this fascinating reading, but can someone please provide some deeper insights and real assistance? People and trends can make positive changes, but not without identifying the core issues and the steps to take to alleviate them.

Some of the shifts are undeniable. One of the articles that won more of my time than the rest was written in March this year by Binyamin Applebaum for The New York Times, entitled Study of Men’s Falling Income Cites Single Parents. He was reporting on recently released research by David H. Autor, a professor at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology

It’s a good article, but what is far more telling than the article or even the research is the 747 comments that followed! Justin Bieber does not get that many responses from a post on Facebook.

The fast majority of comments were from women, mostly single parents. Their responses were highly intellectual, well thought out, great grammar, heartfelt, and emotionally charged (mostly of very sound mind). Opinionated, yes! Thought provoking, unquestionably. 

All the comments were overwhelming. I read with a depleting box of tissues close by my side. 

One woman very carefully documented how she had been raised by a single mom, is a single mom herself and went on to get two college degrees after her hsuband split. Now her own daughter is raising her grandchild also as a single mom. The fathers were absent for 3 generations and the women felt they were proudly surviving.

The obvious hidden message is that the children are following in their single parents footsteps including attracting men that wont stay with them or participate in raising their children. Is this really worthy of pride or should this too common of an occurrence be a major concern?

Another woman in her late 60s, also raised by a single mother summarized her story with this,

“Anyone, regardless of the circumstances, or education level, or support, is only fooling themselves if they think being raised by a single mom (or single parent in general) will not leave scars on the child. My experience and this report, confirms what I suspected; the effect is most prevalent on male children.”

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

*Larry Michel*

Marriage/Couples Counselor

Come from a place of unconditional love—seek to see before you seek to be seen.

Location: Encinitas, CA
Credentials: Other
Specialties: Couples/Marital Issues, Dating/Being Single Support, Matchmaking
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