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Marriage Vows That Truly Make A Difference

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Marriage Vows That Truly Make A Difference
Without agreeing on what your 'I dos' mean, your marriage is a dream without substance.
These three powerful steps will radically lessen your chance of early divorce.

According to The Daily Mail, a recently published study by The Marriage Foundation claims that a newly wedded couple is in the most danger of breaking up in the early years of marriage. But why?

The answer is easy: Stop jumping into committed relationships based solely on hopeful projections! After more than two decades of coaching couples, I can tell you that the biggest reason marriages or committed cohabiting relationships fail is because couples enter relationships with a naïve assumption that because "we love each other we can work our way through anything." Not so!

More from YourTango: Are Open Relationships A Way To Divorce-Proof Your Marriage?

This kind of thinking is about as sound as two people that have become good friends deciding they want to start a business with each other, signing a lease, raising money and hiring employees without ever discussing how they like to do business or what roles the partners will play. No one goes into business partnership like this and when they do, they rarely (if ever) succeed. And yet, we dive into committed relationships and marriage without ever discussing if our true needs can be met. I think marriage vows are wonderful, but without a partnership agreement, they are a dream without substance.

Don't blindly jump into a committed relationship ever again. If you truly want to honor and love your partner, step into a "partnership" after having a mature discussion about your needs and desires. These are the steps to do with your sweetheart as soon as you start to get serious. Begin with the first two on your own.

More from YourTango: Dreams Do Come True!

Step One: Make a list of what you want in a committed relationship. Don't hold back. Come up with as many things as you can think off. Consider where you want to live, how you want to spend your time and where. If you want a family, how many kids do you want and what kind of schooling is important to you? List the kind of interactions you want, from daily communication to your most intimate emotional and physical time with each other and with your friends. Keep reading...

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Article contributed by
Advanced Member

*Larry Michel*

Marriage/Couples Counselor

Come from a place of unconditional love—seek to see before you seek to be seen.

Location: Encinitas, CA
Credentials: Other
Specialties: Couples/Marital Issues, Dating/Being Single Support, Matchmaking
Other Articles/News by *Larry Michel*:

Are Open Relationships A Way To Divorce-Proof Your Marriage?

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Science indicates we are trending to more open relationships but are these arrangements the secret to preventing divorce? A recent study by Amy Moors published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships indicated that there is a greater willingness for couples to give non-traditional sexual arrangements a try. Dr. Zhana writes, "these data ... Read more

Dreams Do Come True!

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Valentines Day has become so commercialized that men and women are overcome with anxiety, stress, worry, guilt or simply avoidance of potentially not meeting the expectations of a loved one.  YIKES! And, if there is no loved one, then what? Is there something wrong with us? Are we unlovable? Unworthy? Unlucky? I’m here to declare NONE OF ... Read more

Does Compatibility Even Matter?

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Love at first sight doesn't always translate into a lasting love affair. Couples may discover later that they differ in everything from their energy level to their core values.  Relationship experts Larry Michel, Jacqueline Williams, Lou Paget and Mary Kay Cocharo sat down with YourTango Experts Senior VP, Melanie Gorman, to answer a pressing ... Read more

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