The answer is easy: Stop jumping into committed relationships based solely on hopeful projections! After more than two decades of coaching couples, I can tell you that the biggest reason marriages or committed cohabiting relationships fail is because couples enter relationships with a naïve assumption that because "we love each other we can work our way through anything." Not so!
This kind of thinking is about as sound as two people that have become good friends deciding they want to start a business with each other, signing a lease, raising money and hiring employees without ever discussing how they like to do business or what roles the partners will play. No one goes into business partnership like this and when they do, they rarely (if ever) succeed. And yet, we dive into committed relationships and marriage without ever discussing if our true needs can be met. I think marriage vows are wonderful, but without a partnership agreement, they are a dream without substance.
Don't blindly jump into a committed relationship ever again. If you truly want to honor and love your partner, step into a "partnership" after having a mature discussion about your needs and desires. These are the steps to do with your sweetheart as soon as you start to get serious. Begin with the first two on your own.
Step One: Make a list of what you want in a committed relationship. Don't hold back. Come up with as many things as you can think off. Consider where you want to live, how you want to spend your time and where. If you want a family, how many kids do you want and what kind of schooling is important to you? List the kind of interactions you want, from daily communication to your most intimate emotional and physical time with each other and with your friends. Keep reading...
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