If marriage was a spiritual contract, would it be any easier to let go?
When a marriage ends, it's always a tragedy. People get hurt, dreams get dashed, and countless dollars get wasted on endless bickering. Either way, when it's over, it's over. But, knowing that doesn't make it any easier. So plagued are we with guilt, resentment, frustration, and fear that we rationalize, strategize and compromise until we feel like we're making a deal with the devil, just to keep a relationship that no longer works alive.
Will I be OK? Am I making the right choice? Will I ever find love again? These are questions you may be asking yourself, and with good reason. Nothing is guaranteed, after all. Ending relationships is painful. Staying with the devil you know may seem safer than the one you don't know, and suffering in the present seems less scary than pursuing happiness elsewhere.
But, perhaps there is a different perspective that you might consider when you know the end is near, but it's unclear what to do about it. What if you could look at marriage like an open-ended business deal between two spiritual entities — a contractual relationship with rules and bylaws and a stipulation that either partner can liquidate the partnership if the contract no longer serves their best interest? Furthermore, what if lifetime contracts are completely unrealistic and inappropriate from a spiritual perspective, and that as spiritual beings, people are meant to contract with numerous other spirits and not just one.
It's been suggested that all relationships — long, short, pleasant, and unpleasant — are pre-ordained according to a universal spiritual contract, and not all are meant to last a lifetime. If this is true, it's obvious (if you look at the divorce rate) that people often contract with people they aren't meant to be with. But human beings don't like change, and therefore suffer inside of relationships where the contracts (if you will) have expired.
This type of suffering causes emotional and physical exhaustion that seriously saps the spiritual energy of both partners. If the only way to end suffering is to let go of what's causing it, then staying in a spiritual contract that is no longer valid would create a cycle of spiritual suffering. What if letting go of what isn't working was a way of opening yourself to receive your next spiritual assignment — the next step on your journey to fulfillment.
It may sound crazy, but if you are facing the death of your marriage you might consider that your spiritual contract with your spouse may have expired, that its metaphysical purpose has been fulfilled, and it's time for both of you to move on to your next assignment. Don't get me wrong — break ups are painful and can be messy. But, if your marriage is truly over, then it's over, and you owe it to your spirit to just let go.
Want help making sense of your break-up? Contact me at Lane@LaneCobb.com and we can discuss your situation in more depth.
Lane Cobb is an Integrative Life and Wellness Coach who teaches women to stop struggling in life and start living their purpose through coaching, speaking, and writing. Her proprietary healing modality, Intuitive Body Coaching, gives women access to love, clarity, freedom, and pain-free living. Contact Lane for your Complimentary Breakthrough Strategy Session at Lane@LaneCobb.com / www.LaneCobb.com
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