Are You Dating An Addict? 3 Ways To Cope


Are You Dating An Addict? 3 Ways To Cope [EXPERT]
While you can't cure his addiction, you can cope with it. Here's how.

No person can actually cure another person's addiction; they have to recognize they have lost power over their own behavior and recognize the need to change. There are some experts who will recommend you either make them quit or you leave. This may work temporarily, but if the motivation to change is not internally motivated, there will be no lasting change.

This plan can even backfire; your boyfriend may just shrug his shoulders as you walk out the door, sending the clear message that his addiction has priority over any relationship he has with you.The good news is you always have at least three options in any relationship. 5 Ways We Sabotage Our Relationships


1.You can try to change yourself, so you can adjust better to the situation. You can't try to change him by nagging, complaining, blaming, criticizing, threatening, or leaving because that shows you are trying to create change from the outside in and that isn't how it happens for the long-term. You can stop any enabling behavior you may be engaging in. You can change your perception of things and you can also adjust what you want to more closely fit the situation.

2. If changing it doesn't work, then you have the option of accepting it. Many will ask, "How can I accept the fact my boyfriend has an addiction?" If you are confronted with that reality every day, I don't see how you can't accept it; it's the truth and your current reality.

Accepting it doesn't mean you like it or condone it. Accepting it simply means you recognize it's the fact of the situation and that your boyfriend has the right to choose to live his life any way he chooses. If he chooses to lose himself in an addiction, that is a choice he has the right to make.

Does it hurt other people? Probably, but I would say if others, including you, are hurt by someone else's behavior, then that is your problem and not the problem of the addict. You are the one who is unhappy so it is up to you to do something about it.

More relationship advice from YourTango:

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Kim Olver


Kim Olver, LCPC, has been featured in Whole Living, Women's World, Fitness Magazine and Counseling Today and is the best-selling, award winning author of Secrets of Happy Couples: Loving Yourself, Your Partner, and Your Life.

Connect with Kim by signing up for her FREE InsideOut Relationship Advice Newsletter and receive a FREE recording about our Life Changing Process, InsideOut Empowerment and have access to FREE relationship assessments.

Check out new products that might be for you in my Webstore

Location: Country Club Hills (Chicago), IL
Credentials: LCPC, MS, NCC
Specialties: Communication Problems, Couples/Marital Issues, Empowering Women
Other Articles/News by Kim Olver:

ALERT: The "Big 5" Marriage Mistakes That Lead To Divorce


With over 50 percent of marriages in the U.S. ending in divroce, it's important to take a look at the marriage mistakes that can lead to divorce. While researching this subject for my book, Secrets of Happy Couples, I asked happy couples what their "non-negotiables" in marriage are. One hundred couples responded about the dealbreakers in ... Read more

How To Be Happy: It's An InsideOut Job


The reason most people feel unhappy is that they are in search of this illusive happiness that is somehow found outside of them in things they acquire, people they want and experiences they have. While these things can bring temporary pleasure, if you are seeking true happiness, it’s an InsideOut job. See the seven steps on how to be happy and ... Read more

The Cheerios Commercial: Is Interracial Marriage Still Taboo?


As a person who has been in an interracial relationship, I was so encouraged to see the newest Cheerios commercial star a Caucasian mother, an African American father and their adorable biracial little girl. When the media begins to depict different types of families, the public may be exposed to difference in a way they wouldn't otherwise and exposure can ... Read more

See More

Latest Expert Videos
Most Popular