Are You Dating An Addict? 3 Ways To Cope

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Are You Dating An Addict? 3 Ways To Cope [EXPERT]
While you can't cure his addiction, you can cope with it. Here's how.

No person can actually cure another person's addiction; they have to recognize they have lost power over their own behavior and recognize the need to change. There are some experts who will recommend you either make them quit or you leave. This may work temporarily, but if the motivation to change is not internally motivated, there will be no lasting change.

This plan can even backfire; your boyfriend may just shrug his shoulders as you walk out the door, sending the clear message that his addiction has priority over any relationship he has with you.The good news is you always have at least three options in any relationship. 5 Ways We Sabotage Our Relationships

 

1.You can try to change yourself, so you can adjust better to the situation. You can't try to change him by nagging, complaining, blaming, criticizing, threatening, or leaving because that shows you are trying to create change from the outside in and that isn't how it happens for the long-term. You can stop any enabling behavior you may be engaging in. You can change your perception of things and you can also adjust what you want to more closely fit the situation.

2. If changing it doesn't work, then you have the option of accepting it. Many will ask, "How can I accept the fact my boyfriend has an addiction?" If you are confronted with that reality every day, I don't see how you can't accept it; it's the truth and your current reality.

Accepting it doesn't mean you like it or condone it. Accepting it simply means you recognize it's the fact of the situation and that your boyfriend has the right to choose to live his life any way he chooses. If he chooses to lose himself in an addiction, that is a choice he has the right to make.

Does it hurt other people? Probably, but I would say if others, including you, are hurt by someone else's behavior, then that is your problem and not the problem of the addict. You are the one who is unhappy so it is up to you to do something about it.

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Kim Olver

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Kim Olver, LCPC, has been featured in Whole Living, Women's World, Fitness Magazine and Counseling Today and is the best-selling, award winning author of Secrets of Happy Couples: Loving Yourself, Your Partner, and Your Life.

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Location: Country Club Hills (Chicago), IL
Credentials: LCPC, MS, NCC
Specialties: Communication Problems, Couples/Marital Issues, Empowering Women
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