Sad, but true.
You’re dating this cute guy. He’s a real charmer. You like him — a lot. But then you have a disturbing thought. Maybe when you're alone and not with him, you wonder if you like him more than he likes you. You're unsure if he’s as into you as you are into him.
You want to find out (no, you need to find out), because the answer to your predicament can mean the difference between a healthy, fruitful relationship and one that sputters haltingly along before evaporating into a fog of hurt and regret.
Here are 5 signs that you like him more than he likes you:
1. He’s really hesitant about discussing his feelings.
Or maybe he says something like “Well, I’m not sure how I feel about us.” You’ve got to trust me on this – that’s code for he’s not that into you, so you should really think about unceremoniously dumping him.
Harsh? Perhaps. But there are so many guys out there, and you absolutely deserve someone who values you and your time, instead of being with someone who’s a human floppy disk, not sure if they want you.
And if you're not happy with the dynamic, where you like him more than he likes you, you should bear in mind that a relationship should not get in the way of true happiness. It should augment it, instead.
2. He tries to change who you are.
In other words, he’s just not that fond of who you are right now. And how does he express this? Chances are, he’ll be nitpicky about you and bring up your supposed “flaws” and “problems.” Instead of appreciating who you are as an individual, he’ll find fault in you.
If he were really into you, he’d be much more likely to compliment you instead of make you feel bad about yourself.
3. You’re always the one who shows affection.
No, affection is not the same thing as sex. By “affection,” I mean stuff like cuddling, holding hands, and engaging in intimate eye contact. If you’re always the one who initiates this kind of affection — while he only initiates sexual intimacy — it’s quite possible that you like him more than he likes you.
This isn’t a hard-and-fast rule, of course: some guys are just shy and introverted. But if you’re dating a usually outgoing guy, and you're still always initiating affection with him, then you should probably rethink this relationship.
4. He doesn’t introduce you to his family.
Or he’s terribly hesitant about doing that. If you've already introduced him to your family, but he doesn’t reciprocate, there’s a reason why. And very often that reason is because he’s not completely into you.
5. You’re almost always the one who texts or calls first.
And you’re the one making all the plans. And you’re the one who feels at ease introducing him to your friends. See where this is going? When you’re doing all these things, and he isn’t giving much back, you’re probably more into him than he’s into you. Whether you want to stay with him or not is a different matter, but why wouldn’t you want a guy who’s truly falling for you?
There you have it. Whether you’re dating a guy or already in a relationship with him, keep your eyes open for these tell-tale signs. And if you feel like something is “off” — that you’re more invested in this relationship than he is — chances are you're right. Cut your losses and move on.
Kelly P Crossing is an experienced counselor and relationship expert specializing in helping women build the lives — and relationships — they want. By helping you understand your own individual needs and how they drive everything you do, Kelly can help you, too! For a glimpse into your needs, take the free NeedsExplorer survey now. To learn more about Kelly and how she can help you, click here.