Photo: nomadsoulphotos, Tinpixels via Canva
Intensely loving one who doesn't love you back is the worst. Stop denying and start recognizing the signs you like him more than he likes you.
By Kelly P. Crossing — Last updated on Jun 15, 2020
You’re dating this cute guy. He’s a real charmer. You like him a lot, but then you have a disturbing thought: Maybe when you're alone and not with him, you wonder if you like him more than he likes you.
You're unsure if he’s as into you as you are into him, and that you might be a victim of unrequited love.
You want to find out (no, you need to find out), because the answer to your predicament can mean the difference between a healthy, fruitful relationship and one that sputters haltingly along before evaporating into a fog of hurt and regret.
Here are five signs you're more into him than he is into you
1. He’s really hesitant about discussing his feelings.
Or maybe he says something like, “Well, I’m not sure how I feel about us.” You’ve got to trust me on this — that’s code for he’s not that into you, so you should really think about unceremoniously dumping him.
Harsh? Perhaps. But there are so many guys out there, and you absolutely deserve someone who values you and your time instead of being with someone who’s a human floppy disk, not sure if they want you.
And if you're not happy with the dynamic, where you like him more than he likes you, you should bear in mind that a relationship should not get in the way of true happiness. It should augment it.
2. He tries to change who you are.
In other words, he’s just not that fond of who you are right now. And how does he express this? Chances are, he’ll be nit-picky about you and bring up your supposed “flaws” and “problems.” Instead of appreciating who you are as an individual, he’ll find fault in you.
If he were really into you and loved you, he’d be much more likely to compliment you instead of making you feel bad about yourself.
3. You’re always the one who shows affection.
No, affection is not the same thing as sex. By “affection” I mean stuff like cuddling, holding hands, and engaging in intimate eye contact. If you’re always the one who initiates this kind of affection — while he only initiates sexual intimacy — it’s quite possibly one of the signs you're more into him than he is into you.
This isn’t a hard-and-fast rule, of course — some guys are just shy and introverted. But if you’re dating a usually outgoing guy, and you're still always initiating affection with him, then you should probably rethink this relationship.
4. He doesn’t introduce you to his family.
Or he’s terribly hesitant about doing that.
If you've already introduced him to your family but he doesn’t reciprocate, there’s a reason why. And very often, that reason is that he’s not completely into you.
5. You’re almost always the one who texts or calls first.
And you’re the one making all the plans. And you’re the one who feels at ease introducing him to your friends.
See where this is going? When you’re doing all these things and he isn’t giving much back, you’re probably more into him than he is into you. Whether you want to stay with him or not is a different matter, but why wouldn’t you want a guy who’s truly falling for you?
There you have it. Whether you’re dating a guy or are already in a love relationship with him, keep your eyes open for these signs.
And if you feel like something is “off” — that you’re more invested in this relationship than he is — chances are you're right. Cut your losses and move on.
More for You:
Kelly P. Crossing is an experienced counselor and relationship expert who specializes in helping women build the lives and relationships they want by understanding their driving needs and how to meet them.