10 Ways To Cleanse An Ex From Your Life

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10 Ways To Cleanse An Ex From Your Life
YourTango Experts offer advice on the best ways to get over an ex.

If only "washing a man out of our hair" were as simple as a wash, rinse and repeat cycle. In reality, breaking off attachment to an ex is hard—but not impossible—work. Here are 10 easy-to-follow tips for washing a hard-to-forget ex from your life: 

1. Indulge In A "Pity Diet" 
Bring on the tears — it's ok to have a pity party, just don't let it last too long. Designate how much time and how long you will cry and feel miserable, then make yourself do something else. When you make yourself have a set amount of time to wallow in misery, it will make you feel in control again, and that's a good feeling to have. 5 Ways Friends Can Help You Get Over Your Ex


2. Take The Time To Bounce Back 
Many people think that they have to move on to another relationship quickly to avoid pain, but doing so can actually lengthen the time it takes to heal. When you take some time to reflect on the breakup, it helps you to realize the pros and cons of the relationship. Remember that we tend to view the past with rose-colored glasses, and that there were plenty of shortages in the relationship as well. Focus on your ex's deficiencies over the positives.

3. Keep Him Out Of Your Head By Keeping Him Out Of Your Bed
Science will tell you that when women have sex, the "attachment" hormone oxytocin is released. This creates a feeling of bonding, which is pretty hard to manage when you are breaking up. While sex might seem really appealing as a last ditch effort to keep the relationship together, don't confuse the issue even more by sleeping with your ex. 7 Strategies To State Your Boundaries About Your Ex

4. Break The Pattern
Now is an excellent time to do something that you haven't done in a long time (like all the while you were with your ex). Start a new exercise routine, travel more, and hang out with friends that you haven't seen all year. Think about upgrading your job skills, taking a class or starting a new project that will advance your professional life.

I have seen many women end up with a whole new career after breaking up with a partner, due to taking on more education. A new job or career direction can make you feel really good—smarter, better and stronger. Did your past relationship do that for your self-esteem?

5. Learn From The Relationship
Look back on the relationship to make sense of the reasons why it ended. Ask yourself what you could have done in the relationship to make it better and what you could have done to avoid the breakup. You can't go back but you can learn from the experience so that you can make your next relationship better than you could have ever imagined. 5 Definitive Reasons Not To Get Back With Your Ex

6. Accept What You Know And Let Go Of What You Don't
Have you broken up with your ex but have many questions about why it fell apart? Instead of working through the relationship repeatedly in your mind, tell yourself that you will never know the exact reason, but what you do know is that it's over. You can't help what you don't know, but you can help what you do. Take that knowledge and use it to let go. It's over… let it be over.

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