Getting into a new relationship is hard, but many times women will give up parts of their own life as they step into a life with their new partner. Not only can that lead to resentment and frustration after time, but it can also pave the way for a lonely, unhappy relationship.
Here are 3 things women should NEVER give up when getting into a relationship:
1. Their feminine energy.
It’s the female who charges the relationship with more emotional depth. While the guys are mainly concerned with facts (where to go, what to eat), she’s interested in what’s below the surface. She contemplates the feelings.
In men, the DPN (a part of the brain) causes them to seek a power position — to compete and to be sensitive to territorial threats from other men. Men want the unique feminine qualities women bring. They don’t seek the competitive, logical relationship they can find with other guys.
Oxytocin is the important hormone that gives women a special ability to seek connection and bonding. This is a gift for men, because they love watching their female partner bond with their family and friends. Women bring something important into the male-female duo.
So, in a romance, bring your empathy, all your relational skill, and your flowing, holistic dialog into the relationship.
2. Their individuality.
When we are attracted to someone, we accidently transfer our attitudes, beliefs, values, and feelings onto them. We assume they are like us, and often it’s an unconscious assumption. We come to expect things that won’t happen.
The second problem is that unmet expectations lead to disappointment, which if repeated, can lead to hurt or resentment.
The good news for women though is that men expect so much less from a relationship; they’re easier. If she relaxes more around him, smiles and touches him, he is happier, and it’s good for her to get a break from her busy mind. The bad news is that women’s expectations of a relationship aren’t met.
3. Their friends.
Friendships with your girls are what stave off loneliness. Many women — for at least part of their lives — will go in and out of relationships with male romantic partners, and they will come to see their relationships with women as foundational and steady throughout their lifetimes.
Female friends provide a special emotional support and provide openness and bonding. Men give support by giving advice, which can feel like being pressured into something, while women offer acceptance and validation, which feel good.
Women’s permeable personal boundaries allow them to let another in.
For more understanding of men in romance, read The Naked Truth About Men (And Romance). To enhance your relationship, read What Women Want…Really! as a couple. Both are by Dr. Kathryn Foster, Psychologist.