Katherine Forsythe (MSW)
You’re not getting older, you’re getting started! Own it! Yes, you can, of course you can!
… mantras to my clients, workshop attendees, and webinar participants.
My passion is to remind women that we are luscious, lively, and sexy at any age! What do you need to do to reclaim your juicy, vital, beautiful self? Good news! You and I can be the delicious women we want to be - living a bigger, bolder, sexier life – on our own unique terms!
Through my coaching, seminars, and workshops - online and in person – we deal with all those personal challenges of “age gain” – body image, relationships, intimacy issues, overcoming voices from the past. I’ve been working with magnificent women for 20 years – inspiring and overcoming the challenges of aging bodies – and feeling the exhilaration of confidence again.
There are tasty, secret ingredients to staying vital, buoyant, beautiful, and empowered - and enjoying your zesty womanhood for the rest of your life. What’s holding you back? Are you hating your body and wondering how to adorn a body that has betrayed you? Experiencing fitting room fright? Feeling massively insecure about how to date, again? Wondering what men are looking for at our age? In a flat relationship that you’d love to ignite? Need to hit the “delete” button on the traditional “wisdom”, guilt, or responsibility that holds you back, left over from your childhood? Would love to know how to spice up your bedroom intimacy with a new partner or long term spouse? Want to know how other women are successfully and magnificently showing up in the world as stunning, magnificent women - women who project a fullness and comfort in their own skin about themselves? My work on your behalf is to guide you to dispel the fear and negativity – and rediscover, reclaim and re-ignite your sexiness and deliciousness as a woman. I can take you to new possibilities that make you feel absolutely wonderful about being a woman at this time in your life.
My mission is to say “Enough is enough”. Let’s laugh, share, and explore together! As your guide, friend and coach at Get A Second Wind – I'm dedicated to empowering you to re-define and re-energize how you show up as a woman in this world at this exciting moment in our lives.
It’s not easy to get past the downsides of “age gain”. The bad news can get you down, if you let it. It’s not always easy to see ourselves as attractive, energized, and desirable, with the tsunami of change in our lives – especially our intimate private lives. The biggest downer of all? Every woman tells me the same thing. It’s Body betrayal. Looking like our mother gets harder and harder to ignore. Jowls bump out. Necks take on a chicken like appearance or disappear altogether. Eyes droop. Breasts hang down. Lubrication dries up. A search to overcome family DNA is a full time job. Not to mention the other usual suspects of midlife change: Children leave. Divorces happen. Spouses die. Friends move away. Dating after all those years begins. Bedroom delights become routine or disappear altogether. Careers end. Parents are gone. Marriages slip into quiet desperation – where did your lover go? You’d like your partner-as-lover back.
We feel disqualified from being sexy and appealing. Furthermore, it’s “game on” for our critical selves (already active from our earliest days of adolescence) to have a heyday!
Tell the voices of doubt to take a hike! The excitement of a new beginning is all out there for you. I’ll give you the skill set to discover and delight yourself with new possibilities. Together, we’ll unveil the insights and secret ingredients to empower you to feel your full strength, confidence, and beauty, again. My specialty is to get us laughing and talking about all the changes and possibilities for us at midlife and beyond.
In my new book, Sexperienced: Guide for the Seasoned Woman Seeking New Possibilities, I share remarkable stories from seasoned women at my Sex on the Porch series – and delicious new possibilities in intimacy and understanding relationships (and men!) in the second half of life.
Don’t sit on the sidelines! Join me in the zestiness in life – for the rest of your life!
Visit www.getasecondwind.com for events, blog, newsletter and more.
I look forward to hearing from you! ... Own it! Kat Forsythe, MSW
The Reason I Became A Helping Professional
There is a profound joy at giving back all that I have learned from my journey and my profession - so that other women can not only survive – we can be savvy, sexy, sophisticated, smart, sassy, successful, and more than anything else – satisfied and content in our own skins. There is deep wisdom, a yearning, a need to redefine how we look at ourselves, a longing for connectivity - whether with a mate or with a friend, a drive to be our authentic selves, and a seasoned vitality and zest that only comes with having lived a life past 50, 60, 70. That’s my gift to the women I serve – to help them restore, redefine and re-energize who they are in the second half of life. I want to see them laughing and loving, leaving the old stories behind.
Here’s my story:
In 2004, I ended a marriage of 34 years. What followed was chaos, learning, depression, desperation, guilt, fear, hurt, testing, yearning, jealousy, lust, love, and the occasional extreme joy at knowing that someday I would be able to say, “I did it my way”. Was it easy? No, not at all. Was it worth it? Yes, yes, and again, yes. It’s the classic situation. At 54 years old, I was energized to get going in a new life. I was caught in a marriage that couldn’t accommodate my kind of expansion. He wanted to stop and I wanted to go. It was more complicated than that, of course, and there were other factors, but the net-net was: We were unhappy. After 20 years (yes, 20 years!) of marriage counseling, we were at checkmate. I was tired of it all, and I had tried “every which way from Sunday” to save it. It was over. As a friend of mine in Tucson said, “Honey, when the horse is dead, it’s time to get off.”
I knew what I needed. And what I didn’t. I did not want to do what my mother had done – go from one husband to another for security and social status. Not me! I wanted to experience – on my own - all that I had missed locked into a static relationship all those years. I had been the good girl, the good wife, had found the appropriate husband at the end of 4 years of college. I had thrown perfect dinner parties. I had successfully raised 2 beautiful, talented daughters. I was poised to start my new life. It was the right thing to do.
So, I did it. I went through the excruciating pain of divorce, ripping myself from the womb of this relationship that held me protected all those years. I had no idea what was ahead of me. When all the familiar scaffolding came tumbling down around me – when the judge lowered the gavel, returned me to single status after 34 years, and gave me back my maiden name, I stood there, numb. Now what?
After 2 long years of lonely, painful living alone in the house that my husband and I had built to save our marriage, I decided to part with everything I had known, and start a whole new life. I moved to the city that cushions, redefines, and re-energizes people like me, San Francisco. I regressed in age to my late 20’s, trying to capture the life I had lost. I did post-graduate work at San Francisco State to refresh my MSW and enhance my knowledge of human sexuality. I thought that I was very urban, very hip. And I was more alone than I ever had been.
The plan started to falter. I found myself floundering. Me, floundering? Me, the one who is strong, and the role model for women throughout my lifetime? Where was that strength, now? I was bumping into walls. I was stumbling in new relationships. I was trying to use the old skills that had served me well in my old life but that now rendered me useless in the new, tough, unforgiving real world I was in. I was trying to please everyone else with my over the top, overwhelming enthusiasm and eager happiness. I was listening to the needy little girl inside me who wanted love and affection. I wanted new friends and new lovers. I wanted them to like me. In the process, I lost my personal power. I lost a safe place inside of me that’s secure and strong. My daughters lost the mother they knew. I fell into deep depression.
For 6 years, I worried, I cried, I tried to make a go of it. I kept trying to use my old skills over and over and over. They weren’t working, but I didn’t know what else to do. These were skills handed down from my mother, so that I could be a good wife and mother. They were irrelevant now. I had no role model for what I was doing. I moved 5 times in San Francisco in those 6 years, hoping it would help. I couldn’t run away from myself – but I tried. I didn’t know who I was anymore. I was completely lost.
In the process, I ran into people who believed in me and blessedly saved me from myself – and I encountered those who I let intimidate me, and then used me and left me in the gutter when they were finished. I dated men who only wanted me for the sex I would have with them. I met men who gave me unconditional support, but needed money to make ends meet. I cultivated friends who were as unbalanced as I was. I tried to build a business – I had a few successful sessions, but my confidence in myself was in the toilet. I didn’t ask for much money – I didn’t think I was worth it. The outside world couldn’t see the confidence struggle – except for a few lifelong friends who watched helplessly as I went through the agonizing process of extreme self growth.
Why am I in the business of being a helping professional? Because I’ve lived a hundred lives since I left my husband, morphed a thousand times, and learned that the only thing that counts is what’s inside you – and sharing that with the other people who you value in your life – and not bothering with the rest. There is deep wisdom, a yearning, a need to redefine how we look at our selves, a longing for connectivity - whether with a mate or with a friend, a drive to be our authentic selves, and a seasoned vitality and zest that only comes with having lived a life past 50, 60, 70.
For me, it wasn’t until I experienced the pain of starting over that all my training began to help the most needy of all: me. All my professional skills that I had taught – communication, relationship, self respect, sexuality, body image – were worthless until I used them to help myself. Now, I want to give back all that I have learned from my journey and my profession so that other women can not only survive – we can be savvy, sexy, sophisticated, smart, sassy, successful, and more than anything else – satisfied and content in our own skins.
It's still La Dolce Vita! Let's learn how to enjoy it thoroughly. After all, we're not getting older, we're getting started!
I’m a big fan of Mary Oliver. She has a poem in which she talks about starting over. It’s worth revisiting for all of us:
One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
their bad advice --
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
"Mend my life!"
each voice cried.
But you didn't stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do --
determined to save
the only life you could save.
~ Mary Oliver ~
Over $120 per session