The first time the possibility was raised that I may have been dealing with a self-esteem issue, I dismissed it. Hey, I had my own successful business, I dated a lot, I owned a condo, had a new car, I was attractive, I worked out…how could all that point to a self-esteem issue?
As it turned out, I not only struggled with my self-esteem back then, I couldn’t admit that
it was a problem.
It was important to me to get it handled, because I knew in my heart that if things stayed
on course the way they were going, I would end up divorced – again. Unacceptable!
So how does this (unfortunately) pervasive issue for women interfere with having a great relationship with a man?
- You end up with men who are not able to give you what you really want; they’ll be unavailable in some way, whether not completely done with an ex, they’re married to their work, they are emotionally damaged in some way, or they live too far away.
- It can be challenging to simply receive love and acceptance from a man, without being in “produce mode” – I call it the “Me plus what I give or do equals good enough to earn love” syndrome.
- The fear of being rejected can bring out the absolute worst behaviors – which often lead to being rejected; controlling men or circumstances, being unable to be vulnerable and open with them, rejecting them first, or, as I call it, the “You can’t fire me – I quit” syndrome.
In order for the situation to improve, there are two areas that need focus:
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