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Is Your Self-Esteem Costing You A Great Relationship?

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Is Your Self-Esteem Costing You A Great Relationship?
So what’s a gal to do?

The first time the possibility was raised that I may have been dealing with a self-esteem issue, I dismissed it. Hey, I had my own successful business, I dated a lot, I owned a condo, had a new car, I was attractive, I worked out…how could all that point to a self-esteem issue?

As it turned out, I not only struggled with my self-esteem back then, I couldn’t admit that
it was a problem.

More from YourTango: When Men Talk Too Much About Themselves On Dates

Sound familiar?

It was important to me to get it handled, because I knew in my heart that if things stayed
on course the way they were going, I would end up divorced – again. Unacceptable!

So how does this (unfortunately) pervasive issue for women interfere with having a great relationship with a man?

  • You end up with men who are not able to give you what you really want; they’ll be unavailable in some way, whether not completely done with an ex, they’re married to their work, they are emotionally damaged in some way, or they live too far away.
  • It can be challenging to simply receive love and acceptance from a man, without being in “produce mode” – I call it the “Me plus what I give or do equals good enough to earn love” syndrome.
  • The fear of being rejected can bring out the absolute worst behaviors – which often lead to being rejected; controlling men or circumstances, being unable to be vulnerable and open with them, rejecting them first, or, as I call it, the “You can’t fire me – I quit” syndrome.

So what’s a gal to do?

In order for the situation to improve, there are two areas that need focus:

More from YourTango: How To Take Control Of Valentines Day

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Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Karen Jones

Author

Karen Jones

Helping women have scrumptious relationships with men...since 1997!

The Heart Matters

www.TheHeartMatters.com

(978) 557-9993

Karen@TheHeartMatters.com

Author of "Men are Great".

Sign up for the free newsletter, Ask the Coach, and get a gift that will improve your relationships with men right away.

http://theheartmatters.com

Location: Lawrence, MA
Credentials: Other
Specialties: Couples/Marital Issues, Dating/Being Single Support
Other Articles/News by Karen Jones:

When Men Talk Too Much About Themselves On Dates

By

Men have been rewarded for their performance since the beginning of time. The best performers got the hottest cave-babes, they got the optimal cave real estate and the most respect and recognition from their fellow cavemen. All they had to do was be the fastest, bravest, strongest and most skilled. The fact that most of them died in the process of being the ... Read more

How To Take Control Of Valentines Day

By

If you’re like many women, Valentine’s Day can be tricky; it’s a big deal for you, and your man somehow blows it more often than he gets it “right”. How can you deal with this annual dance of angst leading up to February 14th, so often followed by hurt, angry, disappointed or resentful feelings afterwards? In the past ... Read more

5 Reasons Guys Back Off Emotionally

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Any woman who's actively dating will at some point deal with a man who is pulling away. If you notice that a previously attentive man is showing signs of fleeing, one of these things is likely going on: 1. He's just not ready. You may have been communicating effectively that you're playing for keeps (and if so, great job!) but this has him ... Read more

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