Men are everywhere in our lives. Whether you’re currently in a romantic relationship with a man, or you want to be, the fact of the matter is that we’re in relationships with men everywhere in our lives anyway: at work, at play, in our families, in our communities.
Relating to them effectively improves the quality of our lives immeasurably (and of course, relating to them poorly has a negative impact on the quality of our lives). Having said that, our focus will be on romantic relationships. That’s why you’re reading this, I’ll bet!
THE OBSTACLES TO BLISSFUL LOVE
Finding and keeping a great man - and developing a fulfilling committed relationship - can be extremely challenging for many women. I find I’m often reminding my coaching clients to have compassion and understanding for wherever they may get stuck on that journey. After all, think about what most of us are dealing with:
• No great role models growing up (in fact, oftentimes quite the opposite);
• Women have been more career-driven and less relationship-focused (and afraid to get off that track, in case they can’t count on anyone else);
• We’re much more nomadic in our lifestyles, which prohibits the development or enjoyment of a nurturing community;
• We have become such an “instant results”-oriented society, we often can’t handle the inevitable rough patches that can actually signal a relationship is growing, and we leave for “greener pastures”;
• As the media continues to be the barometer we often use to measure how we’re doing in the world – whether in our looks, our fitness, our financial status, etc. – our self-esteem takes a hit – and causes us to become less convinced we’re a “great catch”. That, unfortunately, creates a self-fulfilling prophecy;
• Speaking of the media, the way men are being portrayed these days (lazy, clumsy, idiotic buffoons!) isn’t helping women feel respect and appreciation for men!
Now, I’m not saying this to support a state of “victimhood” – far from it! In fact, this is a “victim-free zone”...I firmly believe we are always creating our lives and the circumstances in them. However, you can’t successfully map out a route to your destination if you aren’t really clear where you are right now. As the saying goes: “the truth shall set you free”.
START WHERE YOU ARE
Again, no matter what your current relationship status, you can begin to improve your relationships with men right now, if you want to. It’s really pretty simple.
Note: If you really don’t want to, obviously this isn’t going to work. (You may want to get help with an attitude adjustment before taking on the plan we’re talking about here.)
So, what can you do to insure you are improving your relationships, rather than keeping things status-quo, or letting things gradually worsen? (And nothing ever “stays the same”, really – what’s happening is either things are growing, or they’re dying...an important thing to keep in mind!)