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The #1 Question That Kills His Attraction

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The #1 Question That Kills His Attraction
If you're wondering how he feels about you, consider this, before you ask...

One of the most frustrating things for a woman is to not know how a man feels about you.

You try to be ok with it -- to not come across as needy or insecure. But after awhile, if you’re like most women and you're not getting feedback,  you become needy and insecure! You want to know: How does he feel -- about me? Does he find me beautiful, captivating, irresistible?

More from YourTango: 3 Reasons He Won't Open Up To You

Now, most of us are pretty clever at disguising the deadly question. We bring it in like a Trojan horse on the tail of our own feelings. Or if you’re brave and really frustrated, you ask him outright, “How do you feel about me?” And you cringe at the boldness of your own words.

The problem is no matter how you ask it and how you cloak it, he’ll still knows you’re asking -- and it will diminish, if not kill his attraction for you.

There are two problems with asking: One, is you’ve forced his hand. Even if he tells you he’s crazy about you, how will you feel knowing you had to elicit this? Will you be able to take it in, to believe it?

Two, you’ve pushed him into a corner and essentially demanded he make you feel better. Now, how do you feel? Likely awful, seeing as you had to solicit his feelings. Add to that, he now knows you don’t feel confident about you!

More from YourTango: How To Break Up With Your Coach Or Therapist

You have every right to be with a man who expresses how he feels about you. If you’re making it clear that you enjoy being with him, and enjoy who he is, and you get zero verbal appreciation back, I’d look around for someone who reciprocates with similar passion. Why beg for scraps, when you can be lavished in love?

Asking how a man how he feels about you and forcing the issue, is only going to make you feel more vulnerable, and put him in a position he obviously never wanted to be in, in the first place. If he’s not revealing how he feels, perhaps it’s because how he feels isn’t very compelling.
 

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