If You Did Any Of These 12 Things On A First Date, You Might Have Blown It
If you did any of these things, it's no wonder you didn't get a second date.
Nicolas Menijes, Frank Vex | Canva You leave the first date on cloud nine and think that maybe she could be "the one." At the very least you're excited for your next date. Then, you "hear crickets." As a matchmaker, I have met many people whose biggest complaint is that they can't understand why a first date didn't lead to a second. Sometimes it's for the obvious reason — no chemistry. Often, however, it is something you did that your date found offensive. Even something that turns people off "a little" will be enough to crush your chances for date #2.
If you did any of these 12 things on a first date, you might have blown it:
1. Texted them too much before or after the date
Eager beavers need not apply. Remain a mystery until the second drink. We don't care what you had for breakfast, and we don't want to think this is your first date in a long time. A brief text to say you had fun with a cute emoji is acceptable but wait a couple of days before asking us out again.
2. Arrived late
Don't say "I'm almost there" if we are waiting for you in a bar in Union Square and you haven't left your office in Brooklyn. Rule of thumb, job interviews and first dates, don't be late!
3. Drank too much
We loved hearing the story about how you caught the game-winning touchdown in high school, the first two times. Are you bored or intoxicated? In either case, it's not attractive.
4. Got them drunk
We see you pouring more wine into our glass and innocently cheering us on to join in a tequila shot. We KNOW where you are going with this, trust us.
5. Chewed loudly or with your mouth open
Did you know a sign of intelligence is the inability to handle loud chewing noises? Some people find it intolerable. I can assure you, your date will be one of them. Open our door, pull out our chair, and don't ever chew with your mouth open.
6. Forgot to leave your day (and your cell phone) at the door
The first dates are for connecting, not divulging. Did you get in a fight with your boss today? Your old girlfriend got engaged to your old best friend? Check your coat, your phone, and the bad day you had at the door. Focus on us and the great time we are going to have, please.
7. Compared them to a celebrity
You remind me of Melissa McCarthy! My personality or figure? Angelina Jolie! Crazy Angie, humanitarian mother of six, or the Angie that used to tie Brad to the bed? See? It's very confusing to us. Some men dig Kelly Clarkson or Katy Perry but we guarantee you, your date thinks she's prettier than both of them.
8. Talked about your health
No one is perfect and at some point in our lives, health issues may come up. They should NEVER be discussed on a first date. We don't want to know that you have high blood pressure that your doctor told you to lose weight or that you have been diagnosed with anything! It's a first date. Keep it to yourself.
9. Ordered for them
We are not your child or a Stepford Wife. You are not Christian Grey. We are capable of ordering what we want to eat and drink, thank you.
10. Asked to split the check
The man pays on the first date, period. Even if we asked you out. If you question this, we can predict that it is unlikely you will have a second date.
11. Told them you are meeting a buddy later
It seems innocent enough but leaves us with lots of questions. Is he into me? Will he invite me to go with him? Is the "friend" a guy or a girl? Get the picture?
12. Forgot to brush your teeth
Bad breath is the number one turnoff and the reason why we will not date you again. Good hygiene and fresh breath ... it's so easy. There are so many do's and don'ts on a first date but just remember this is your opportunity to shine! As a good person, friend, and in the name of your gender. Your objective is to be the best version of "you" so that you can secure date #2. Smile, be happy and if you don't feel chemistry with us, it's okay. We will rave to our friends about what a great date we had with a quality guy. Word travels and who knows, we might want to introduce you to a friend.
Karen Boden is a professional matchmaker and date advisor who combines psychology and business backgrounds with common sense and intuition.