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How Long Should You Wait To Have Sex?

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Here’s one of the most typical questions I get. Maybe it will help you next time you meet a man you’re interested in:

Dear Kara, I was just watching your four videos on your Men Made Easy website and found them very interesting. And I saw the contact botton, lol, and thought I could get some real advice from an expert. Well this is my situation, I have been dating this guy for a month now, I know it doesn’t seem that long but we are literally together day and night 5-7 days a week. And I am super confused about where our relationship is going. Sometimes he says I am his girlfriend, and then sometimes, I am just a friend. One day he says he is not ready for a relationship then the next its a different story. I don’t want to rush him into a relationship but it feels like we are in one. Why is he so confused, how can I just make him fall in love with me? I really like him and I feel like he is the one for me, but am I crazy cause it has only been a month. I have not found one thing I dislike about him? What should I do?

My response:

I hope that by day and night that doesn’t mean you are sleeping with him. You should not have sex with a man until he has made it clear he wants you to be his girlfriend. The moment you have sex powerful bonding hormones start flooding your brain and you’re hooked without really knowing who he is. And if he isn’t convinced you’re the one for him, you’ve blown it.

The subtitle of my book is “How To Get What You Want From a Man.” If you don’t understand the inner workings of a man’s heart and mind, you will not know what to do to get him to fall in love with you.

One of the most important secrets in my book is, “A man wants to be with a woman who makes him feel like a man.” If a man doesn’t have to work to win the heart of a woman, she has taken away from him one of the most enjoyable parts of being a man. Once he knows you’re his, he relaxes and doesn’t feel he has to do anything more to get you. So, if he got you without any kind of commitment that you’re his girlfriend, he knows he can string you along as long as he’s interested.

I hope you use this as a good lesson for future relationships. Make him work by not giving in until YOU have what YOU want. If he’s really interested, he’ll do whatever you need. If he’s not interested enough to do what you need, than you can say, “thank you, next.” So many women tell me, “But if I don’t give him what he wants, he’ll leave.” Sorry but, “Duh.” You want him to leave if he’s not willing to give you what you want.

You should ONLY want to be with a guy who is crazy about you. Otherwise, you’ll always wonder what his intentions are because you gave in too easily. This is not about playing a game and being hard to get. This is about real life. You need to be sure he cares enough to make you happy. That’s the only way to have a rock-solid relationship. In business, it’s called “Do Diligence.” For instance, in real estate, you check out everything to be sure it’s a good buy. If you’re buying a business, you go through the books, find out if it’s a solid business, that the price they’re asking fits with the true value of the business. Same thing goes with picking a boyfriend. Do diligence means waiting long enough for him to prove to you that he really cares for you, respects you, is proud to be seen with you, etc.

From my heart to yours,
Kara Oh

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