Why You Should Move On From Your Knight In Shining Armor Fantasy

By

Why You Should Move On From Your Knight In Shining Armor Fantasy
Have a crush on the Knight In Shining Armor? Read on to learn why you should probably move on.

I just don't get this knight in shining armor ladies speak of. What is so desirable about this guy? Women want to be rescued by this knight, just a dude galloping over the hills on his horse wearing full body armor prepared to fight the Russians....or Anthony from New Jersey — whoever gets in his way is fair game. But to be honest, this knight guy seems pretty lame to me.

First off, he's on a horse. This guy doesn't even have a car. Ladies, you think your dad would approve of you dating a guy who can't even afford a 2002 or 2003 Honda Civic? This knight sounds like a loser. No car? He's poor. Riding up on his horse like he's a big deal but the reality is that we don’t even need horses anymore. Get a car, knight, and shine that up a bit.

If you had to ride around on a horse with your knight, where would you go on a date? Probably to the river so the horse can drink some water. He's tired of lugging you around all day. You think the horse wants to hang out at Pizza Hut while you share a medium pizza for $11.99 (Knight had a coupon for equal or lesser value). No, the horse is thirsty. Once again, if your knight had a car, this wouldn't be an issue, but instead he's strutting around town on a horse.

Second off, let's say you are attracted to your knight, his horse, and how he sojourns around town like he's Alexander the Great (he even tells people he's related). Ok, so now you want to make-out and kiss your knight. Do you have three hours to sit around and wait for him to take off all his armor? It's gonna be hard to kiss Robocop while he's wearing a helmet that weighs more than a small child. He'll be like, "Ok, let's totally kiss, just give me a few hours to take off all my armor. Can you hold my sword and help me with these thigh plates?" Hell, by the time he's done you'll be in menopause and not even horny anymore. See, I told ya this knight was a loser.

Also, being in a relationship with a knight would be tough because he's always wearing that armor. You want a quick trip to IKEA? Good luck with that because your knight is going to take five hours putting on his armor. He's convinced the Romans might show up in the Home Furnishings sections ready to "get some". He's been waiting years for them to arrive.

Ladies, just saying, this knight doesn't seem like a good choice. He's riding a horse, wearing armor all day, shiny looking like a prism. I think you can do better. I suggest while your knight is taking off his armor, get on his horse and ride away to find you a police officer in a bullet proof vest. At least that dude will have a car.

For more things to laugh about in dating, please check out my website. I have many funny posts and other animations so subscribe to get posts in your inbox! Also, my book "Pray Your Kids Are Ugly" is out now (the Future of Human Interactions)! Lastly, here is my Twitter and Facebook - say hello:)

More dating coach advice on YourTango:

 

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Justin Kelly McClure

Author

I'M NOT A DATING COACH. THAT'S LAME.
Honest, Irreverent, Hilarious, Genuine about Dating.

OnlineDatingCritic.net
Check out my site:

ONLINE DATING FAIL - funny dating profiles
DATING ANIMATIONS - funny illustrations of dating
PHILOSOPHICAL AND HUMOROUS BLOGS - all things funny, honest, and insightful about dating today. 

———————————————————————————————————————

My book:
"PRAY YOUR KIDS ARE UGLY" - Affects of Online Dating and the future of Human Interactions. 

Twitter
Facebook
Google Plus

ONLINEDATINGCRITIC.net

Location: NEW YORK, NY
Credentials: LMHC
Specialties: Dating/Being Single Support, Health Coach, Online Dating
Other Articles/News by Justin Kelly McClure:

Keep Calm And Stop Obsessing Over Finding Your Soulmate

By

Somewhere, right now, someone's probably out there looking for their soulmate like a pirate on the edges of their ship. Have you tried checking behind the curtains or looking under the bed? If this sounds ridiculous to you, then you're onto something. Why would you spend your time searching for the perfect person as if you need someone else to complete ... Read more

Still Single? Let's Talk About Your Online Dating Fails

By

When you hit it off with someone you've just met online, it's natural to want to text them and pick up the conversation and flirting where you left off. But when it comes to dating fails, that's the first of many problems. If you've been wondering why you're not having any luck at online dating and don't know what to do to get them to ... Read more

Unlucky In Love? How Rejection Actually Improves Your Love Life

By

Being rejected is a bummer, right? No one likes being romantically interested and then jilted. But is it possible that being rejected actually makes you stronger and more ready for a relationship? Dating Expert Justin Kelly McClure makes the case for why facing rejection ironically improves your love life. We often let the fear of rejection stand ... Read more

See More

GET MORE ARTICLES LIKE THIS IN YOUR INBOX!

Sign up for our daily email and get the stories everyone is talking about.

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

FROM AROUND THE WEB