My article Top 5 Mistakes Men Make in Bed received a lot of attention. Most of the comments (or complaints) came from men. Some men found the article helpful, others reacted defensively and some men were simply hostile and rude.
But the most common comment came in the form of "What about the women?" A lot of men felt picked on and asked that I give equal time to men's complaints about women. Fair enough. So, I did an informal query among a handful of men to learn the top five mistakes women make in bed and the results are below. But, before I give you the list, I have a few disclaimers.
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First, please note I am a woman and not a man. I therefore went to men for their input. This list represents the most common complaints made and does not represent every man's experience nor is this list the result of a sound empirical research study. Second, as with my first article, the information is offered with the intent to stimulate communication between partners, not to create any shame, wrong-doing or blame. Our sexuality is complex. And just as any relationship requires on-going inquiry, communication, negotiation and attention, so does your intimate sexual relationship.
Finally, people attach a lot of things to their sexuality — power, attractiveness, acceptance, lovability, control, etc. —exploring your sexuality and communicating with your partner about sex can be both rewarding and risky. My hope is that both this and my previous article can help in this endeavor so everyone can have a more satisfying and fulfilling sexual relationship.
So, ladies, here are the top five mistakes women make in bed:
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1. Expecting your lover to read your mind. Men are not mind readers and each woman can vary in terms of what pleases her and helps her reach orgasm. Let your partner know how he can please you. Be specific and concrete. Show him. Gentle but clear direction will be greatly appreciated. Your man wants to please you. You just need to tell him how. Keep reading ...
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