Encouraging Words To Build Confidence (EXPERT)

Words can hurt or heal. Choose the words you say so your voice will be one of encouragement and praise, rather than demeaning and negative. Change the way you talk to others, and change their lives and yours. Empower those you incounter with encouraging words and phrases.

I want to share a story with you about why I am so driven to teach, guide and mentor parents, coaches, counselors, police, teachers and other adults who are in a position to work with young people.

More from YourTango: 5 Ways To Nurture With Nature

Tell Me The Words To Say

I was teaching a parenting class one night at an elementary school. The subject was Kids,Chores & More

and I had just said “In discipline you want to be firm, consistent but kind.”

A nice looking man in the back of the room tentatively held up his hand and when I called on him said; “I hate it when you do-gooders come and say things like ‘be kind.’ What does that mean? To me being kind is hitting with an open hand rather than a closed fist.  How can I say kind things when I have never heard them?  You have to give me the words to say.”

I will always be grateful for the courage that young man had to share in a group what others in many parenting classes must have been thinking.  It was a humbling turning point in my life and in my teaching.

Many arrogant (myself included) parent educators and counselors assume that because we know and experience the words and phrases that encourage positive behavior that everyone has that privilege. We assume that because we came from fairly emotionally healthy homes that others did too.

We wrongly assume that just hearing advice will change years of programing and belief systems.  It takes practice to replace negative with positive.  But like a garden in our minds and the minds of others, the more seeds of positive encouragement we plant, the more will be harvested.  The positive and uplifting words will begin to grow and crowd out the negative information that has taken roots.

I Learned To Encourage and You Can Too

The more we plant positives, the easier it is to believe and affirm the good things we do, say and accomplish each day. Encouragement is simply given yourself or others the courage to keep going. It is like a gift of courage and an affirmation of self-worth.

Affirmation  is simply a way of getting your sub-conscious to agree with what was said. Please claim your no-cost list of positive affirmations at http://www.askauntieartichoke.com  and repeat them many times a day.  The more you repeat and affirm, the more they become reality and a part of who and what you are.

Communicate Love and Encouragement

There are certain phrases that are almost always the right thing to say and do.  These are words, phrases and actions that communicate love and encouragement.  These are examples we can use to build people up and increase their self-confidence.

More from YourTango: Being Assertive- Better Than Fight Or Flight (EXPERT)

In short, if there are positive words or actions that you would like to hear, it is a safe bet that they would encourage others, too.

Statements that encourage