to the YourTango newsletter!

Continue to Site »»

ProConnect

Is Your Relationship A Diamond In The Rough?

By . Posted on .

diamond
The five C's you should know before you choose commitment!

** Don't miss your chance to chat with Jonathon on the YourTango Facebook page this Thursday, September 22nd at 2pm ET. Find out more about the event and RSVP here! **

It seems like every woman over 20 knows about the four "C's" of diamond buying: cut, color, clarity, and carat weight. That’s Engagement Ring 101 stuff. But unfortunately we often miss a more important "C" list – the Relationship C's.

More from YourTango: From the Guys Perspective, The #1 Mistake Women Make When Dating

Within every great relationship is a curious mix of chemistry, communication, compatibility, character, and continuity that leads to a lasting commitment

Chemistry is the initial attraction. It’s powerful - maybe even irresistible - but it’s not the only thing that matters. You have to be able to see past chemistry’s lure to the other important components of a lasting relationship.
Communication is critical for commitment. There’s no sense building a relationship with someone who can’t or won’t engage in open and honest conversation with you.
Compatibility ensures you both want the same things in life, physically, spiritually, and emotionally. Without this, you’ll end up pulling in opposite directions – an exhausting exercise that will leave you feeling drained instead of fulfilled.
Character describes his values and morals, and they should closely match your own. Rather than asking if he’s the right man, ask if he’s a good man. Then you’ll know if his character is a good fit for you.
Continuity requires that all the pieces of your life work well together – your family and friends, your social activities, your emotional needs, your economic ideals, and your intimate desires. It’s hard to make a relationship last when one or more of these areas is out of sync.

More from YourTango: In Search of a Cure for the Seinfeld Syndrome

Like the four C's of diamond buying, the relationship C's all fit together to form one beautiful and precious gem. Like a diamond, some aspects may outshine others. Your relationship may be strong in communication but lacking in compatibility, and that’s okay as long as you recognize the potential problems and take steps to minimize them. But if the Five C's fall short of your standards and leave you with nothing more than a worthless rock, you could be in for a rough ride.

Want to see if your new relationship can pass the five C's test? Pick up a copy of Understand Men NOW: the Relationships Men Commit to and Why, for an in-depth look at the five C's of relationships, and discover what makes men commit – and what makes them turn away.

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Jonathon Aslay

Author

Jonathon Aslay

Join my email community & receive a special report "Where To Meet Great Guys" plus a weekly tip to Understand Men Better

UnderstandMenNow

My New Book

"The Relationships Men Commit to and Why"  HOW MEN COMMIT

Location: Redondo Beach, CA
Credentials: Other
Other Articles/News by Jonathon Aslay :

From the Guys Perspective, The #1 Mistake Women Make When Dating

By

As a single woman wanting to know how guys think, don’t you wish you could be the fly on the wall in a man’s locker room? When it comes to understanding men and hearing what we say about women, the locker room is the place. They know they can speak freely because in guy code, what’s said in the locker room stays in the locker room.  ... Read more

In Search of a Cure for the Seinfeld Syndrome

By

Remember Seinfeld? One of the running gags was Jerry's amazing ability to spotlight every annoying habit or imperfection his date had. There was the date who had “man hands,” the one who had a laugh like Elmer Fudd, and the one who ate her peas one at a time. All good reasons to break up, according to Jerry, and a never-ending source of ridicule ... Read more

Maybe The Problem With Your Relationship Is In Your Glasses

By

How many times have you gotten out of bad relationship and immediately started complaining about the guy? Maybe he was a player, moving quickly from one conquest to the next, or perhaps he was emotionally distant. Even worse, maybe he was carrying more baggage than a 747 bound for Hawaii. Sometimes the dating scene feels like it’s packed with these ... Read more

See More

Recent Expert Posts
sad teen

The 5 Emotions You Didn’t Expect To Feel After Discover An Affair

Uncovering an affair releases a firestorm of emotions; handling those feelings helps keep you sane!

Inspired

The Truth (I'm a girl, I'm smart and I know everything)

We all need to celebrate and release the girl inside of ourselves.

flirting

Ladies...Do you have the Power in Your Relationship?

A woman’s perceived power in a relationship greatly depends on her confidence

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Resources
How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>
HOT STUFF!
FROM OUR PARTNERS