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It seems like every woman over 20 knows about the four "C's" of diamond buying: cut, color, clarity, and carat weight. That’s Engagement Ring 101 stuff. But unfortunately we often miss a more important "C" list – the Relationship C's.
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Within every great relationship is a curious mix of chemistry, communication, compatibility, character, and continuity that leads to a lasting commitment.
• Chemistry is the initial attraction. It’s powerful - maybe even irresistible - but it’s not the only thing that matters. You have to be able to see past chemistry’s lure to the other important components of a lasting relationship.
• Communication is critical for commitment. There’s no sense building a relationship with someone who can’t or won’t engage in open and honest conversation with you.
• Compatibility ensures you both want the same things in life, physically, spiritually, and emotionally. Without this, you’ll end up pulling in opposite directions – an exhausting exercise that will leave you feeling drained instead of fulfilled.
• Character describes his values and morals, and they should closely match your own. Rather than asking if he’s the right man, ask if he’s a good man. Then you’ll know if his character is a good fit for you.
• Continuity requires that all the pieces of your life work well together – your family and friends, your social activities, your emotional needs, your economic ideals, and your intimate desires. It’s hard to make a relationship last when one or more of these areas is out of sync.
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Like the four C's of diamond buying, the relationship C's all fit together to form one beautiful and precious gem. Like a diamond, some aspects may outshine others. Your relationship may be strong in communication but lacking in compatibility, and that’s okay as long as you recognize the potential problems and take steps to minimize them. But if the Five C's fall short of your standards and leave you with nothing more than a worthless rock, you could be in for a rough ride.
Want to see if your new relationship can pass the five C's test? Pick up a copy of Understand Men NOW: the Relationships Men Commit to and Why, for an in-depth look at the five C's of relationships, and discover what makes men commit – and what makes them turn away.