How many times have you gotten out of bad relationship and immediately started complaining about the guy?
Maybe he was a player, moving quickly from one conquest to the next, or perhaps he was emotionally distant. Even worse, maybe he was carrying more baggage than a 747 bound for Hawaii. Sometimes the dating scene feels like it’s packed with these undesirable men, and all you do is run from one bad relationship to the next.
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Maybe it’s not the men, though. You might want to check your glasses next time to be sure you’re getting a clear look at Mr. Wonderful before you invest too much.
The Rose Colored Glasses
Don these famous spectacles and you’ll be in for a shock later. They hide some serious character flaws that not only make your new man appear much more appealing than he actually is, but can set you up for serious heartache in the future. Here’s the truth about those trouble-hiding glasses – sooner or later, you’re going to take them off, and you may not like what you see.
Just like candlelight hides unsightly blemishes and vertical stripes and plunging necklines make fuller figures appear thinner, those rose-colored shades tend to soften less-than-desirable traits. If you suspect he’s a player, with a different girl on his arm every night of the week, putting on your magic glasses will convince you that those other women are chasing him. If you’ve started to think he’s cold and emotionally unavailable, a little rose tint will have you believing he’s more open than he really is.
Not only will these glasses hide the more serious issues your relationship might face in the future, they can even persuade you into thinking you can fix his problems. After all, with enough love and understanding, even a player can fall head over heels and give up his heartbreaking ways, right? Not likely. Take off the rose-colored specs and see your man for who he truly is – then get out before your heart is next on the chopping block.
The Foggy Lenses
Just come in from a cold relationship? Watch out for foggy eyewear, then, because they might keep you from seeing the truth about your new man. Sure, he’s outgoing, in touch with his emotions, calls his mom on her birthday, and loves kids, but something is missing, and if you’re not seeing clearly, you might mistakenly think it’s there.
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The elusive “it”? Chemistry. That spark of excitement that lights you up when you see his number on your caller ID; the butterflies in your stomach when your hands accidentally touch as you reach for the wine at dinner. When it’s there, you know it, but if your glasses are foggy, you might think you see something you don’t. Or worse, make you think you can manufacture it.
Here’s the truth: either Chemistry exists or it doesn’t. There’s no forcing it, and a lifetime without it is destined for boredom both in and out of the bedroom. Wipe off your glasses and take a good look, and if the spark is missing, move on.