How To Live With A Narcissist

By

How To Live With A Narcissist
Living with a demanding know-it-all who is "always right?" Read some tips for handling a narcissist

This guest article from Pysch Central was written by Linda Sapadin, Ph.D.

Narcissists can be horribly frustrating. Everyone probably knows one — people who are so wrapped up in themselves, so demanding and demeaning, that they leave no room for anyone else. Sounds like a horrible person.

 

Yet, there’s something enticing about narcissists that pulls you in. Perhaps it’s his or her self-entitlement or know-it-all, does-no-wrong outlook. You’ve always been one to subjugate your desires, anyway. So, though you hate to admit it, your narcissist’s confidence and cockiness may be (or used to be) a turn-on for you.  It’s amazing that your favorite narcissist can be both appealing and appalling.

If you’re not ready to toss your narcissist out of your life, you’d better learn how to deal with such a personality. 

 

Putting into practice the following skills will both strengthen your ego and preserve your sanity.

1. Learn what is and isn’t negotiable.

Some behavior you may not like but it’s no big deal if you let it slide. Let everything slide, however, and you’ll find yourself in an intolerable situation.  She spends recklessly. Why? Because she wants what she wants when she wants it.  She doesn’t want to be confined by your “stupid” rules. After all, “you only live once. Why restrict yourself?”  In these types of scenarios, you need to know what you’ll tolerate and what you won’t. This doesn’t mean that her spending habits must align with yours.  But it does mean that you speak up and use your leverage to prevent patterns from getting out of hand.

2. Know when you’re being gaslighted.

When your narcissist says something, then later denies saying it or claims to have said something different, you can find yourself doubting your own sanity. Were you listening? Were you dreaming? Is he nuts? Am I nuts? What’s going on here?  Your narcissist may be doing this maliciously to throw you off balance. Or, more likely, he’s simply responding to his need of the moment, forgetting what he previously said.

3. Don’t tolerate denigrating emotional outbursts.

At times you’ll be upset with each other and need to let off steam. But how one lets off steam is vital. If you’re being spoken to with disdain and disrespect, stop the action. Make how you are being treated the issue. Express your disappointment. Ask for an apology. If necessary, walk away, letting it be known that you’ll gladly pick up where you left off when you’re treated with respect.

4. Learn negotiating skills.

This article was originally published at Psych Central. Reprinted with permission.

More Juicy Content From YourTango:

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

John M. Grohol

Psychologist

Dr. John Grohol is a mental health expert and founder of Psych Central. He has been writing about online behavior, mental health and psychology issues, and the intersection of technology and psychology since 1992.

Location: Newburyport, MA
Credentials: PsyD
Website: PsychCentral
Other Articles/News by John M. Grohol:

Want More and Better Sex?

By

This guest article from Psych Central was written by Linda and Charlie Bloom If you haven’t read the latest research about the sexual habits of American marrieds and singles, you are probably among the majority of people who have the belief that singles are having a lot more sex than folks who are married. Well guess what. They’re not. One ... Read more

9 Issues To Resolve Before Getting Married

By

There probably aren’t many people who haven’t heard the words "marriages take a lot of work." This is a good thing to be aware of prior to making a marital commitment.  Knowing that’s the way it is minimizes the likelihood of feeling surprised or broad-sided when the inevitable breakdowns occur. But what is also a good ... Read more

There's A Reason All Your Relationships Fail — Sorry, It's You

By

Have you had multiple partners, but the basic dynamic between you and them remains the same; which in short is this—you don't get what you want? Somehow you keep making the same mistake, either choosing the wrong person or looking for the wrong thing from the person you choose. Filling a void What I often see in my private practice are adults ... Read more

See More

 
Latest Expert Videos
ASK YOURTANGO MORE QUESTIONS
Must-see Videos
SEE MORE VIDEOS
Most Popular