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When Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus published almost 20 years ago, the book was hailed by readers and critics alike as a genuine take on what happens in “modern” relationships and marriages. Over the years, those same critics have circled and declared this once “groundbreaking” message is now antiquated and out of touch.
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The truth is far from the critic’s reality. As an author, I still receive the same glowing feedback from the one source that ever truly mattered to me and that’s from the readers; the couples whose lives are touched by the messages in the Mars Venus books. Regularly at talks, seminars and even events like the Facebook Takeover (happening this Thursday at 2pm eastern on YourTango’s Facebook page), people share with me that the messages in my books still touch their lives.
The question, for my critics and advocates alike, to really think about is what has happened to relationships over the past 20 years and how does the Mars Venus message apply to a modern couple.
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From my perspective, there are a few very meaningful things that have happened:
- The internet, cell phone and smart phone technology have become a seamless part of our lives. The very format we use to communicate with family, friends, loved ones, coworkers and our children has changed and it will never return to what it was even 20 years ago.
- The way we find potential mates has evolved. We’re no longer just looking in person, now we can look any time of day from any computer in the world. And with sites like match.com reporting that 1 in 5 marriages form online, the tools we now use have become more effective than ever.
- The role of women in the workplace has been changing since World War 2, and continues to develop. According to the Department of Labor, women currently make up 46.8 percent of the total U.S. labor force and will grow to 51.2 percent by 2018. Of the 66 million women employed in the U.S., 74 percent work full-time jobs, while 26 percent worked on a part-time basis.
- Gone are the days when men could do the majority of the breadwinning and a family could thrive. The need for multiple incomes has changed for most families and today, more and more families require that both parents work to simply make ends meet.
- The consequence of these changes has been that the roles that men and women traditionally occupied in relationships have changed.
What does all of this mean for the modern couple?